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Lisa.
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22nd December 2023 at 8:35 am #164310
walruswwe
ParticipantTo be honest, I feel like I’ve lost all hope of escaping with my kids. My husband is here on a visa & (detail removed by Moderator). The last time, and first time, I called the police sbout DV, they were very hostile. Awful experience. If I go via courts or police, then other agencies get involved too due to kids – & I’ve read all about the women who do this and are then blamed by the courts, kids taken off them for ‘allowing them to be around DV’, even if not witnessed, ‘false allegations’, ‘parental alienation’, and so on and so on. What hope do we have when the very services we turn to do this. I’ve been trying to get help for the past 6 months, and it’s breaking me. Sadly, I feel my best chance at protecting all of us is to stay. But the depression is overwhelming. He seems to enjoy seeing me become a shadow of who I used to be though, he showed his true colours as soon as I became pregnant. My close family know & don’t care. Sorry, no point to this rant. Feel like I can’t talk to anyone.
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23rd December 2023 at 3:43 pm #164367
Lisa
Main ModeratorHi walruswwe,
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing with us. You’ve nothing to apologise for for needing to get your feelings out, that’s part of why this forum exists. Experiencing domestic abuse can be very lonely, but here you have somewhere you can talk with other women who understand.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so hopeless and trapped at the moment. You should be able to always expect to be taken seriously and listened to by the police when reporting domestic abuse, not be treated with hostility. Lots of women in similar positions to you are frightened about social service involvement and what might happen. Social services are extremely unlikely to remove your child from your care. This is something lots of women in abusive relationships are worried about or threatened with, but social services should support women in removing the danger to the child, which in this case is him, not you.
It sounds like some advocacy in dealing with other agencies might be helpful, as well as some ongoing professional support for you. These are among the support that your local domestic abuse service should be able to provide. You don’t mention in your post whether you’ve been in touch with them, you might like to reach out if not. You deserve to have support and for you and your children to be safe.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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