Made to be the bad one

[Sabel]

Hi

I’m sorry if this comes across as trivial but it’s something I’ve been facing lately

Every time when it comes to my partner if I’m in a bad mood – he has to be in a worse one – even if he was fine before.

If I say that I don’t want to do something or aren’t happy about it then he’ll cancel plans and make it be my fault cause obviously I didn’t want to do it anyway – one of the big ones being giving my step kids lifts back and forth when ever they want one and it’s not small drives it’s at least an hour (which most of the time I do)

I feel as though I’m not allowed to have a bad day or complain because then I’m letting him down and I don’t know what to do anymore.

[Lisa]

Hi Sabel,

It doesn’t sound trivial at all, it sounds exhausting. He’s invalidating your moods by always making his more dramatic and important. It gives the message that you’re not worth being allowed to express your feelings. Is there anyone else that you can tell how you’re feeling, a friend or family member perhaps? You do deserve to have space to express these things and to be heard.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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