Manipulating my child

[Banana20]

My ex got annoyed that I had said ‘sorry no’ to get another swap of days. To which I 9/10 times say yes, often changing my own plans to work around him and to keep the peace. But I didn’t want to this time. He then wanted to call my son, which I obviously allowed, as always. To which the conversation turned to him telling him how much he missed him, snd that he wanted to see him but mummy wouldn’t let him. Which is not true, but my child is very young so  unfortunately, easy to manipulate. He is trying to turn my son against me and alienate me as a parent. It really upset me snd I feel so helpless, if this is the kind of thing he says to him while I am there, what awful things must he say when I am not around. I just think this is so below the belt, even for him.

[Lisa]

Hi Banana20,

It’s so common for abusers to use children in this way to continue their control. It is upsetting that they care more about being abusive than about the wellbeing of their own children. This is a topic that comes up regularly on the forum, so you are among women who have been through similar. I hope that posting helps, even if just to get it out.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[UndertheStarz]

Hi I could have written this post myself ! My abuser also manipulates my children against me when he doesn’t get his way etc.

I have social services involvement due to the dv, and the advice I have been given is, it is emotional harm  and abuse to manipulate children so you can if you feel able to set a Boundary to him and email him for paper trail and say you will refuse contact and start to end / hang up the calls straight away when he starts to manipulate your child or to also get a parenting app which i find the best ones do cost money but if you can afford it it would be good because you can record the calls and messages cannot be deleted etc. I am in the process of trying to get a parenting app but I need to find the money however even using a free one my ex hasn’t linked himself to it so he keeps using normal messages etc and seems to be refusing the idea of a Co parenting app.

Your not alone and I hope this helps a bit  xx

 

 

[HaPea]

In a similar boat only it’s the ex against his parents using the child as manipulation and I’m done. I can’t keep letting them be around the child when they’re screaming at each other all the time. It’s unhealthy.

[Author]

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