Move again to see adult daughter more?

[Anonymous]

I am out of my abusive relationship.
I cannot describe the relief and how little by little I am regaining my sense of self back. I actually love my own company.
I have inner peace now, everyday. It has been a horrific journey but I am out and will never be manipulated into having a relationship with this man again. I’ve cut all ties. He still sends me emails trying to beat me into anything, but I have stopped responding since the divorce which he dragged out and enjoyed taking as much as he could from me.

The hardest part was realising the love bombing, loving funny man (the person I thought I married was not real,that this was also manipulation to get what he wanted from me. Money, to isolate me, to use me and be the only person I spent time with to become his daily punchbag emotionally and physically. What a damaged man.
But I have the chance of living again and slowly I am (and so can you).

My muddle is whether to move back nearer to my daughter. She is an adult and has her own life and certainly doesn’t want me on the doorstep but I am an (detail removed by moderator) from her. Should I move back I wonder. Me and my ex moved away (detail removed by moderator) after my daughter had moved out of home. He is not her father.

I do like where I live and in some ways has given me a fresh start since becoming an empty nester. My husband did not live here for long. So it feels like mine. I have regular meet ups with my daughter once a week or once a fortnight it’s fairly quality time.she also stays sometimes. But I’m also worried about her life and some choices she is making.
It’s hard. When I have said I might move back, she says it’s up to you, but we (her and bfriend) might move somewhere else anyway.

What do people think?
Thank you.

[Lottieblue]

I would. I would trust your gut.
That’s not to say I think you should. But I would.
Xxxx

[Grey Rock]

Ooooo. Big decisions. Is it worth having more chats with your daughter around it before you give the decision making too much head space? It sounds like they’ve been considering relocating themselves and you don’t know where to or the timescale they’re thinking about yet. If you’re happy where you are would you be upset to move back for her to move away from there?
My goodness, I’d love to have my mum on my doorstep but we both enjoy pretty different places.
X*x

[Anonymous]

Thank you both. Yes, it’s a difficult one. I think my ex tried to isolate me from people coming here, but I like the area, he’s not around here now. I am quite isolated though. I don’t know anyone here. This has helped me in many ways to heal on my own and have privacy. (No walking down the street, crying or looking desolate by people, I know.I’m an introvert.)
I don’t want to uproot myself to move back only for her to then move away. Also, she is growing up, I need to let her make her own mistakes and have some breathing space. Friends there, but they are friends that I see mostly the same amount as I would have done still living there. It’s a place I grew up and has mixed memories. I guess I feel guilty for leaving her there at (detail removed by moderator) after she had been living with her bfriend (detail removed by moderator).

[Author]

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