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I’ve tried to move on but I’m still being Abused anything I do he blames on me .I’ve had to cut contact to email only and he won’t even attempt it .but I’ve stuck to my guns and I’ve not mailed at all yet but because I’ve blocked everywhere and just given an email he has not contacted me at all about the kids.he always punished them for any boundaries I put in place and smears me to others I’ve really had enough of him making me look bad to total strangers .it’s the fact that I can sence it I know that this is what he’s done from little things he says.he will say people said this and that about me but won’t mention any names .the smear campaign is brutal.he will tell me all the bad things he’s done whilst trying to get back with me .like the fact someone has sent him dirty messages all whilst trying to be in a relationship with me
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Hi Mellow,
Although things are still difficult and he’s continuing to be abusive, it sounds like you’re seeing his tactics for what they are and understanding the dynamics of abuse more clearly. This is a really important step and I hope you recognise the progress that you’ve made. It can be hard to put boundaries in place at the best of times, let alone when an abuser is trying to push or completely ignore them. Well done for thinking about your own needs and keeping yourself safe around contact and then going ahead with setting these boundaries. Support from others can really help in maintaining what you’ve already achieved and thinking about next steps, whether that be from family and friends, here on the forum, or from your local domestic abuse service, so do keep reaching out.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
Hi there,
Sorry this is happening- it’s common tactic.
They continue on with the abuse regardless of the situation. It can last for many yrs these abusive messages.
I finally never replied after yrs of abusive txt messages/calls. Though it was scary at first to do this, my life is better without being interrupted by abusive txt – not about the kids just being these lies.
I believe they sponge off of the contact they do get and send it just for the “response” – they lose the power if you don’t respond.
He has never replied back. I now am separated from him, my life my own and the txts are now irrelevant.
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