My abusive ex boyfriend’s new ex-girlfriend is reaching out

[littledove]

Hey everyone, I left my abuser a few years ago (I have a toddler to him that he doesn’t see).

Shortly after I left him he met a new woman and got her pregnant real quick and they had a baby together too.

I never reached out to her to warn her etc because I didn’t want involved to keep my little one safe. Also I knew I wouldn’t have been believed anyway as he would have been playing the victim and making me out the bad one.

Anyway I heard they had split up recently. And something triggering has happened. A few days ago she tried to follow me on one of my social media accounts (I am private).
This is the first time she has ever tried to reach out in any sort of way.

I haven’t accepted or declined it. I’ve just left it there. It’s still there. She hasn’t messaged or anything. And I’m just wondering what she’s wanting? Why is she trying to follow me? It’s triggering because my anxiety is so heightened with it. Does she wanna tell me something? Ask me something? It’s just so strange!
I don’t want to accept it because I don’t want her seeing my personal posts. I’m aware that they could get back together and I need to keep my little one safe.
But also deleting it seems harsh!

It’s just really sent me down a negative spiral😮‍💨🥵

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Littledove

Sounds like you’ve done all the right things so far, and I wouldn’t get involved the same way you haven’t, and for the same reasons.

I would though, be tempted to query the follow with her? Not accept it, because its weird and potentially risky, but to message back that you don’t understand why she would wish to follow you as you don’t know her, etc.

Your instincts have served you well so far, stick to what you need to do for you. It is possible she could use clares law, and therefore find out anything herself?

warmest wishes

ts

[littledove]

Thank you for your reply 🙂

Do you reckon I should just delete the follow request then?

My ex never got charged properly for anything, he just had warnings from the police but I never did press any charges at the time. So I don’t think clare’s law would work

TY x

[KIP.]

Warnings will show up with Claire’s Law. If it’s causing any anxiety at all I’d delete the request and forget about it. Put yourself first.

[Author]

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