My children

[Bambe]

I’ve been out of an abusive relationship for a couple years now.

when I thought things had calmed down my children came back from their time with dad and my minor child was smacked across their face. It breaks my heart that I’m not there to prevent this or support my child to ensure theyre ok. We have a court order in place which I have stopped contact whilst a police investigation takes place.

I know I’ve breached the order but truly believe it’s the right thing to keep my children safe. But now I’m really struggling and so are our children for what repercussions we will have to face for his disgusting behaviour towards a young child. This isn’t an isolated incident and I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes when we were married.

my eldest is emotionally/physiologically abused and I’m not sure how I can help them. They’ve told me their scared to see dad following the police report but then on the other hand I’m also worried off keeping them away as I know they struggle going to dads as it is- I don’t know if time away will help this. They are so young I worry they will really struggle if they are forced into contact with him.

he’s so dangerous because he gives the impression that he is charming and his partner puts on social media how I’m bitter. I leave the drama to them as I just want my children to be happy I would love nothing more for them to have a positive healthy relationship with their dad.

I know him, I know my children and I dont think his partner is aware of this yet as they’ve been together short of the time we’ve been divorced.

is there anything I can do to help my children? I really don’t want them to have trauma. The situation really kills me.

[InShock]

So sorry to hear that. Might be an idea to get them into therapy so they can share what they’re experiencing and get support to mitigate the scars of abuse. Also , the therapy notes might help if you wanted to vary the court order (to reduce contact) and serves as a record of the abuse / effects of his behaviour on them. Speak with your lawyer.

 

Does he get the children overnight frequently?

[Bambe]

Thank you. I will look into it. My youngest is under 5, he’s able to explain his feelings etc so hopefully this will be an option for him. (detail removed by moderator) nights he has, but I’m withholding until something is in place as I’m worried they aren’t safe. Emotionally and physically

[StrongLife]

I too have same issues but different experience.

I have very little advice to offer as I am not sure. My children were older and it was a mess for sure. It is still a mess. I am personally safe and now that they are adults my kids have moved out. They were clearly nearly adults when I left and not young.

It has been horrible and there is little help apart from one to one therapy for yourself to rebuild.

[Author]

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