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When we were together my instinct told me I didn’t like him around my children sexually I never caught him doing anything but I got a sence of it .regularly I’ve brought up to my children how to speak out of anyone touches them inappropriately nothing has ever come up so I’m wondering why I ever got these thoughts or if he was just a fishy person .there were times I’d rush upstairs when he was putting them to bed to see what he was doing nothing came from it and he was always playing with them or reading so why did I feel like this ?is it because he’s already secretive I’ve caught him on the phone to other ladies and the likes looking fishy.but nothing in that sence .it’s only going to get worse for me if he has them overnight as I always think something is off I can’t explain it because it’s my instinct
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Hello Mellow,
If you have concerns around your ex partner abusing the children in any way, it could be really important to talk about and raise this with someone. A first step could be to speak with the NSPCC for advice and information.
Their helpline is on 0808 800 5000, and is open between the hours of 10am–4pm Monday to Friday. You can also email help@NSPCC.org.uk at any time. It’s free and you don’t have to say who you are.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
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Hi Mellow
I can relate, although in my case the child wasn’t mine. My gut told me something wasn’t right even though I didn’t have strong evidence. One night he was reading to the child in her room and he came out of the child’s room with his trouser zip undone – I asked him why and he said he was showing her the new pants that she’d bought him for his birthday. This just didn’t feel right and I felt a heavy feeling in my stomach. On another occasion I caught him using the toilet when the girl was in the bath (there were two bathrooms so no reason why he couldn’t use the other) . In the end, after I left the relationship, I reported him because my gut told me something wasn’t right , it was just this horrible feeling that something wasn’t right . So I’d say, trust your gut x
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That sounds terrible I’ve had many talks to my kids about right and wrong in that regard.
I just think it’s maybe cause of his behaviour e.g when we used to have you know what he would have no quarms rushing to the bathroom with nothing on whilst people in house and I used to have to tell him to put something on before he leaves the bedroom so he wouldn’t do it.i don’t know if he is that way inclined I don’t think he is I just don’t understand my instincts. And if it’s cause I just never trust him doing anything that caused this feeling .as I know I used to rush to see if he was on the phone it’s almost like paranoia
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As Lisa said, report it. Report that you have no evidence, just a bad feeling.
My job requires me to report anything even if it is instinct. The reason is that if several people report very small things or instinct, it starts to build a picture. It’s like parts of a jigsaw coming together.
If no-one else reports then so be it.
Its great that your kids know that they can talk to you. Please also remind them that they can talk to people at school. Sometimes it’s easier to open up to someone who is less emotionally involved x
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