My n**********c ex is back in touch after (detail removed by Moderator) years

[fullmoontonight]

My n**********c ex discarded me for what I thought was the final time in (detail removed by Moderator). We had been in a relationship for (detail removed by Moderator) that had started off lovely, slowly turned toxic and then all of a sudden became downright abusive.

After the break-up, I spent hundreds of pounds on therapy to help me understand and process what had been happening to me over those three years. My therapist was amazing. She listened to me without judgement, validated all of my feelings, reassured me that I wasn’t alone and taught me healthy coping mechanisms that I could take forward. Unfortunately for me, after around three months in therapy, she told me that she was moving abroad and had decided to discontinue psychotherapy as her occupation. Needless to say, I was absolutely devastated, but armed with the knowledge and support she had given me, I set off on my own healing journey.

I read self-help books, I spent more time in nature, I journaled, I took myself on dates and also went on some dates with new people. I went on two solo trips this year, (detail removed by Moderator),  to remind myself that I am worthy of love and happiness. Of course, we know that healing isn’t linear, and amongst all the yoga and inner child work, there were nights when I cried myself to sleep, and there were mornings when I couldn’t get out of bed, and there were days when I couldn’t stop thinking or talking about him, I sensed much to the annoyance of the people around me. It had been a very long and arduous (detail removed by Moderator). Nevertheless, at the end of October 2022, I was in a fairly good place. I had learned a lot about n**********c abuse and recovery. I had hobbies that I enjoyed, a job that I liked, and even a little workplace crush.

All of that came crashing down around me when I was relaxing, watching a movie (detail removed by Moderator).

I was suddenly overcome with dizziness and nausea. After almost (detail removed by Moderator) years of absolutely no contact, he had made two attempts to contact me in about two minutes. I updated my friends and they were outraged. “What a f***ing creep”, one of them said. (detail removed by Moderator) I also deleted all the photos and videos that had been in my favourites folder for far too long. By this point, the movie had been totally forgotten about.

That was (detail removed by Moderator) ago, and I have felt terrible since. Dreaming about him, crying about him, remembering the good times we had and then cursing myself for doing that. I feel like all of my progress has been ruined. I was finally starting to envision a future without him in it, and it was almost like he could sense this telepathically and decided to knock me for six.

I feel heavier, like I did towards the end of our relationship when he was hurtling insults at me and making me feel like garbage. My smile hasn’t reached my eyes in a week. I’m constantly playing significant parts of our relationship over and over in my mind when I’m supposed to be concentrating on other things.

I’m proud of myself for not succumbing to temptation as I have done many, many times in the past. But what troubles me most is that I didn’t block his email address like I blocked (detail removed by Moderator). I secretly wanted to keep one last line of communication open in case he tried to reach out again in the future. And I am so angry that I cannot bring myself to block it.

So, has your ex ever broken no contact without warning? How did you react, and how did you feel afterwards? And do you think I’ll ever be able to rise up from this setback? Any thoughts or comments are appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I think you have done remarkably well , I must say I do admire you , you really have made great steps in rebuilding your life . You recognised what you were dealing with and have taken steps to protect yourself and your boundaries. I too find it surprising they seem to know when you are doing well & moving on & they decide to strike , test the waters one more time and play with our heads , it is like they have a sixth sense I agree . It’s bound to remind you of them
That’s why they do it , to awaken the memories all over again, to see if they still got it like an ego boost to them , oh she responded, I still got that hold over her ! I too blocked my ex everywhere except one place , why I don’t know ? I guess hard to just close that door firmly behind us , my ex also did contact me out of the blue and I went to type back and stopped & just kept thinking I’m opening up can of worms , leave it & I did . I did feel all emotions after , angry that he did , how could he even insult my intelligence one more time , then sadness at what could have been . It took me a while to get passed it and forget the contact , but I was more pleased I didn’t react to him , yeah I felt all these things , but he never knew . I would class it as a glitch in your life and be more proud of how far you have come and how you reacted, dealt with it and continue to move on as you are doing , don’t let this set back hold you down , your doing so well , keep that motivation and continue as you are xx

[fullmoontonight]

Thank you so much for your lovely message! I really appreciate it. Hope you are doing well!

[Eyesopening]

I totally can relate to your story, if i had contact again i would be the same.
Good trick, i did the same, kept email open, BUT i made sure all his emails will automatically go into a folder i will never look at xx

[Anonymous]

Fullmoontonight Hun in same position as you! fighting to keep myself on track , trying to rebuild my life and as a lovely lady I met on here said once , mopping up the c**p I’ve been left with as a result of being in an abusive relationship, staying focused, continue with your path though as you have come so far , be proud , you will reap the rewards & have the last laugh ❤️

[fullmoontonight]

thank you! xx

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