Nee job

[Apricot]

I went for an interview on Tuesday and they offered me the job first thing the next day. I was so happy and excited.

But pretty soon the fear and doubt started and I found myself missing him more than ever. I spoke to my counsellor and she said it’s part of breaking the trauma bond. She said I should read about it, I wondered if anyone knew any good books? I found one on Amazon by Anneley Alexander which has been good so far.

Today they sent over the forms I need to complete for the onboarding process. They will ask my current employer about my sick leave for the last two years. With the bereavement and the the breakdown I went through after I left him, I had 2-3 months off work. Now I’m worried my new employer won’t want me. At the very least I will now have to address my absence. And that starts the self doubt off again and it feels overwhelming. I’m not good enough, it’s too soon to get another job, that I’ve done something wrong in trying to move on with my life.

I wish I could just let myself be happy. Just for a while. I think this is self sabotage. I don’t want to do this to myself any more.

[Bananaboat]

Massive congratulations, well done!! Can’t recommend any books but I’d be interested to know some too.

I just wanted to help with the sickness part – so new employers often ask for that as part of a reference but most companies don’t give it. Most employers just issue standard references, it’s safer for them, which just confirms the dates you started and left and your role title. You could ask your HR dept or your company might have a policy you could read.

[StrongLife]

It is unlikely they will do deep checks and grief leave is certainly expected. I have found previous employers good at letting you move on. I would not be too concerned

Onboarding forms are typical from corporate entities now rather than paper. Paper is basically being phased out and being replaced by systems.

I have found they will stop at your references where I am.

Hope that helps.

[Author]

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