Need some opinions

[Hsjslehdhd]

I didn’t let things slide again the last time and he was (removed by Moderator) sent to prison.

Before (removed by Moderator) we were on good terms again, daft of me I suppose but I just can’t seem to let him go.  Everything was fine (removed by Moderator) and he’s now away for a while.

I’ve stood by him, he’s apologised and been fine for so long again I just dont feel its justified if i walk away, everyone’s telling me it’s my chance but I feel so guilty and dont feel like i can ever stop loving him. I understand how stupid this sounds and I know there is women on here that would jump at the chance to get free like this but I don’t feel free, I still feel stuck and lost. My heart is broken and I can’t see past it all.

He rights me letters and has apologised, they have approved contact between us. He says he’s working hard on himself and going on courses he says he wants things to be different this time like really different. Can they change, I’m hearing and seeing some changes but he can be literally fine for months and months so it’s so hard to tell. Hes not a typical abuser, he just loses his temper once a year let’s say and in between he’s fine. I’m so confused.

He did something really bad and I will never forget that but if he’s finally trying to change I find it so hard not to give him the opportunity

 

Thank you for listening to my rambling

[Happybelle]

Do it. Please do it. I know you’ll feel guilty but really

if it was bad enough that a sentence has been given then you need to get out and go. This is a brilliant opportunity to do it. The guilt will be with you I’m sure, I also carry a lot of it, but it will pass. Once you are free, the guilt learns and lessens all the time and you will feel amazing.

Don’t give him the chance to do it again. They say they change but they don’t. I think they can’t. They are just wired up wrong inside.

good luck xx

[Haven]

I totally agree with Happybelle this is your window of opportunity. He will not change and you can learn to live without him and be free!
Do not get drawn into his emotional games with love letters; pity party. He is in prison for a reason. Get busy! Focus on all the things you could not do before. You deserve a better life with no more tension; trauma. Take care of YOU now and block him out of your mind.
I know it’s hard, but it will get easier as time passes. Go for it! You can do this x

[Yesican]

Good for you (removed by Moderator). I can only imagine how hard that was.

Now you need to focus on getting free while he’s in prison. Can you cut contact with him for a while and see how that feels? By staying in contact, you’re at risk of being persuaded or seduced back into the relationship. That won’t work out any differently than it has before. They really don’t change and I think you know that. It’s hard to get free but it’s probably easier than it was to leave with the fear of his violence.

One day, one step at a time and it sounds like you have support. You can never have too much support so surround yourself with it.

Good luck to you

[Author]

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