Never left alone

[ILoveCats]

My abuser is always with me, in the home (not always the same room), going out, at ours and child’s appointments, he doesn’t work and neither do I currently.

 

I feel like I’ve been backed into this situation so I’m really frustrated but it’s getting harder to get help and trying to leave. We’re in a housing situation where realistically it would be great if I could get away before finding and committing to a new agreement but I feel sick at the thought of starting anything properly.

I don’t have opportunities to speak to people privately on the phone and my time alone without him being in earshot always feels limited and monitored. Any advice or experiences on leaving from those who are almost always with their abuser?

 

Thanks x

[Cherries]

Is it possible for you to find a job? If neither of you work he may find ‘we need the money’ an acceptable reason. Will give you some space and a few options financially perhaps, unless he’s likely to take your money and then you just get the space to make plans

Its not going to be easy for sure.

Is there any opportunity for you to contact your local council? Mine has a DA hub. They got me put on the priority housing list although the waiting list is steep still. I also have access to temp accommodation should I need it through this service. It did require a lengthy couple of calls though to sort it all out. Not sure if it could be done via email?

I understand the feeling sick thing. Me too. The dreaded unknown. Starting again with nothing. The aftermath. Its awful isn’t it. I console myself with despite all of this at least it has the chance to get better. If I stay it never will x

[EvenSerpentsShine]

It depends a bit what your options are for leaving and what your present set up is.

Whether you own your own house or are married etc, as all this makes a big difference as to how you need to move forward.
Also whether you have anywhere that you can go, relatives house or similar, private rental or whether you need to apply for social housing.

A lot of your planning can be done beforehand as long as you have a secure internet connection, but it does depend a bit on what you’ll be needing to plan.
Do you have a car.
I’ll pm you with a few other things you can do. Xx

[Ricepudding]

Hi I see and feel your pain my partner is always with me he control ever move I make and who I talk to. I have tried to reach out but I don’t know were to turn next  or who to trust I want to leave now.

[Lionsloth]

If always with you is it possible for you to message/email local DA survives for support. Could immediately delete from sent box. Could you perhaps do this when he is the toilet or showering? Could write a very quick email/message explaining can’t talk and communicate that way? Don’t know if he controls your phone but if so maybe write a letter and slip in outside your door for postman to discover. Write a simple message in condensation on window. Slip a secret signal out the window. I’m guessing as you’ve posted here must have some access to your phone or computer. So write a message to local DA organisation, online police report or safeguarding report. Local DA organisations can help you formulate an escape plan including around housing even via text or email. Just immediately delete if he has access to your phone. Don’t accept staying. Good luck

 

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