New and feeling lost

[Mindy]

I ended my relationship (detail removed by Moderator) months and have maintained no contact and am doing all the right things (Therapy, taking time off work and exercise) but my ex partner has moved back to the local area (I have spoken to the Police twice but not formally made a statement yet) so have cut off a local support network and feel lonely. It’s so hard to make new friends as an adult and create a new social network – any advice from anyone? Also struggling with constantly thinking about it and trying new things to distract me (audio books’ volunteering etc) but any tips welcome as have days I driven round the bend with it

[iamstrongerthanyesterday]

My heart goes out to you and I’m in the same boat. Kudos to you for staying NC and getting awway.

I’m just starting NC (detail removed by Moderator) and I don’t know where to begin either. I have no friends, social network, etc. Going on (detail removed by Moderator) and it’s so scary.

Hoping to hear some good ideas along with you.

Stay strong! You’re a warrior!

[Allornothing]

I am the same therefore don’t have any advice sadly. I actually had a bit of fomo earlier and had to give myself a good talking to and just play things forward in my head. The long weekend and sun shining and realising my only plans are chores. But I know once I’m in bed with my book I’ll be happy, and I will be happy doing my chores with some music on. The weekend will pass.

I just don’t understand how people start networking! I’ve been in the same job with the same people for years. I could reach out to old friends but the topic always comes back to ‘him’ and he’s the elephant in the room. Plus I just have sod all to talk about which is kinda sad!

We’ve got to stick with it, I’ve downloaded an app that shows meet ups for random people to go for walks, gigs etc but can’t quite bring myself to throw myself in the deep end. Hopefully in time it will happen for all of us 🙂

Enjoy the peace, read or put music on, pamper yourself or just do something that makes you feel good. We’ve got this! Xx

[Mindy]

🫶

[Mindy]

Thanks so much for your replies and aupport! I have FOMO most weekends and also a bit of fear as I know he is out drinking locally looking very popular but I have to get past worrying what he might be telling others and whilst its lonely right now, I am safe and my home is peaceful!

I am giving (detail removed by Moderator) a go to try and connect with females outside of my area that don’t know me or him.

I have also signed up for (detail removed by Moderator) but similar, havent had the courage to go to one yet. Volunteering has helped during the day though

[Lisa]

Hi All,

Just a reminder to be extremely careful if using apps or websites to arrange to meet with people. Even in a group setting, this can be a risk. It can be a way for a perpetrator to find out your plans or location. Combatting isolation is often an important part of recovering from domestic abuse, but it’s safest to avoid sharing details of where you’re going to be at given times and to be aware that people can conceal their identities online.

Best wishes,
Lisa

[Mindy]

Thanks Lisa, it’s been a few months without incident and I needed that reminder thank you

[Allornothing]

Hi, yep I’ve had to remove myself from one thing as he suddenly appeared in a picture. I am very wary and watching from the sidelines, changed my name and going for women only outdoor type of things. I want to start somewhere but it’s like being a detective all the time and I suppose that’s why I personally haven’t managed to take the plunge because of the fear that someone might know him or he is pursuing them or even he is them under a fake account. Its so hard!

[Author]

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