New and Struggling

[Martha]

Please can someone comment. I’ve had decades of evil, spiteful, wicked abusive behaviour. I am financially dependent and terrified I can’t make it alone. He’s spent years humiliating me, constantly flirting and I’m convinced he’s cheated but can only be 99% sure (he was a serial cheat with his poor wife who died young). It’s like I’m suddenly putting together the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Hes secretly watched porn the whole time, I’ve found out several times and he’s always said he’s stopped. We have never had a fulfilling intimate relationship. He claimed he liked the feeling to go on so he would never finish (ejaculate)with me. But he has now admitted he does with porn. I feel horrendous, like I was the ‘warm up’ and not loved or desired. Am I right to feel so hurt and angry? We have a big age difference, I’m (detail removed by Moderator) and now I feel I’ve just got the dregs.( He’s like Peter Pan) I am struggling with this sudden overriding feeling of anger.

[Ameythst10]

Martha,
ive just fully realised in order for me to grow into my butterfly ive had to let go of (Detail removed by Moderator) years of Covert Abuse (Detail removed by Moderator)  mind f….

They say this abuse happens to woman who are hard to break,creative gifted (not to say other woman arent)

Ive gone now contact this is my (Detail removed by Moderator)  day …

Im nowhere healed its going to take alot of time.

I hope you can start your journey too of healing yourself, having fun, being respected, admired, laughing, socialising and more…. all of what was taken away from us.

[Martha]

Thank you for replying, especially when you are suffering too. I really appreciate it. I only wanted to be loved and respected and have a man of my own like my friends have. (Detail removed by Moderator). He is not sad or sorry, just does not care and that feels so cruel. I feel beside myself.

[Author]

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