New life to face

[Foreverfree]

Hi everyone who reads this. On the (detail removed by moderator) dec this year i called the police out on my husband as he was enraged and wasn’t calming down. Last time i attempted this he grabbed my phone and smashed it. He was removed for 24 hour and when he came back he was worse than before fing and blinding crashing about stating i aint gonna play nice after you call the police on me. I was messaging my sister at the time and told her what was going on
at this point he left to pop to town. My sister said grab what you want im coming over and youre leaving before he kills you. So on the (detail removed by moderator) i walked away from my husband of (detail removed by moderator) years, my belongings and my home. Im currently homeless but sofa surfing. My other half was mainly verbal, emotionally abusive with the occasional physical abuse but nithing compared to what some of you lovely people have endured. The last (detail removed by moderator) yeara have been a to and fro of being together him ending us then begging to start again. His favourite was i want to be with you and i lovw you but my feelings arent back fully so yep stupid me thought he did want us to work but it may take time. It always ended up with us having a full relationship and then is get dumped again. I realise now im away from it hes played me knowing i still loves.him and would do pretty near anything to make it work and him happy at my own happiness expense. Always the promises of he would change hes sorry etc etc then it wpuld be nice for a week or so then the mind games would start and the house smashing up would occur. Hes making out he knew nothing about why i left and even said he thought i was coming back to our housing officer. Now im out of it i can see exactly what has been happening these last (detail removed by moderator) years especially and feel so stupid that i actually thought we could get back to the old us of a (detail removed by moderator) ago and i dont get why even now i still love him and wish it had ended differently. Im alone ive got a lot of health issues and cant bear the fact that thisnis probably me til i die. I’m only (detail removed by moderator) but in the past year and a half ive nearly died (detail removed by moderator) times and been hospitalised (detail removed by moderator). Why is it happiness is so eluding. Oh lord sorry for depressing everyone. Just fell.out onto the page so to speak.

[KIP.]

Please contact your local women’s aid for support and advice. You can also ring the national helpline. The housing officer should be removing him from the home as he is the perpetrator. You have rights. These men are despicable liars. Get some legal advice from Rights of Women. It’s not your fault, we all want the man we fell in love with but sadly he doesn’t exist. That’s a fake persona designed to reel us in and hook us in. Once we are trapped that mask slips x

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