New relationship triggers

[Buttercup2022@]

I’ve been in a relationship for (number removed by Moderator) years since splitting with my abusive ex. We’ve been on a rollercoaster of emotions, I knew it was never going to be easy but I had no idea I would be feeling the way I do. We have fallen out a few times and I’ve walked away only to go back a few weeks later because deep down I love him and I honestly don’t think I can be on my own.

We are very different people and there are lots that come between us. I can’t decide if I’m overreacting to sensitive triggers from my marriage when my new partner is just genuine or if he really isn’t right for me.

Everyone says just go with the flow but I can’t help but address the issues we have and the longer I stay with him the harder it is to ever leave if it really doesn’t work out.

[Lisa]

Hi Buttercup2022@,

It can be really tricky to figure out the cause when something isn’t feeling right in a relationship, especially when you’re living with the trauma of having been through domestic abuse. Some people are “go with the flow” people but others need to work through issues that arise, and that’s totally okay. You might find it helpful to seek some counselling to help you work through this and figure out what you want to do. A lot of employers have employee assistance programmes that can provide short-form counselling, or you could search on the BACP website to find someone objective to speak with.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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