Next steps

[Tableau]

He spent years cheating on me before we got married and this continued after. Then I started to put my foot down and distance myself from
Him although we are in the same family
Home. I regret allowing him to continue walking over me. Saying how much I am a rubbish mum
When I am trying to focus on my self care he interrupts and says I should be spending that time with the children. I take no time out for self care. He becomes so frustrated and angry when I even try and do things for myself.
He wakes me up at night to ask me minor questions. I sleep in a separate room and have done so for years.
He has made me spend above my means now I am in debt. I have managed to set up a plan through step change. 
He earns far more than me but wants me to pay more.
I couldn’t afford to send my (number removed by Moderator) child to private school but he demanded we do. This did not last as he spent most of the time saying the child doesn’t appreciate it and how much he had to spend. Eventually he said take the child out but say that it’s mums fault. 
He continuously shouts and gets frustrated slamming doors, banding on the table.
He once said you don’t want to know what goes through my mind.
I had to block him from my phone as he would continuously send me abuse or demand or give me tasks to do. He can only email me. He finds this frustrating because he wants to discuss the kids but I won’t unblock him.
He has often made me feel like I am in the wrong saying I am rude to him. I admit at times I will answer him back in frustration.
Over the years I have had to have therapy due to anxiety, went on to anti depressants. He laughed when I said I had therapy. I also have high blood pressure. I put on lots of weight due to overeating and drinking.
I am trying to leave the home as my children have be become so naughty and at times mimic my husband shouting.
His behaviours cause my children to not want to speak to him but he blames me
He said he couldn’t afford to go away because he is paying for everything then suddenly booked a trip for him
And the kids. I look forward to being home and alone and some peace.
I need to take the brave step of moving out but I don’t know where to start. I don’t have any money spare. 
He often says he is off when the children are old enough.
I need an escape route but don’t know where to start. I have no savings.

[Lisa]

Hi Tableau,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing with us. It takes such courage to talk about abuse and to reach out for support. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand.

If you feel able to then a good next step would be to contact your local domestic abuse service as they can often offer ongoing emotional and practical support to help with making a plan based on your circumstances. You can find your local service here.

Keep posting when you are able to, there is support here from others who understand.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Author]

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