Noone knows about family court dates, right? Do they?

[Twisted Sister]

Hi
Someone approached me, that knows me, but I haven’t told them about court dates upcoming. I was in the middle of something and seemed to be pursuing me and stopped me only to ask if I was going to court, on the day of court, which they couldn’t have known, could they?

If randoms aren’t supposed to know, how could they possibly have known? or is this someone who was told by my ex, when he shouldn’t have? but then why would they go out of their way to follow me and ask if I was going?

The whole thing was weird, there was no, oh Hi TS, how are you, we should have a catch up over a coffee, no, just, are you going to court today?! (This wasn’t actually today, so noone could know about it through the date, because it didn’t happen today.) There are a lot of weirdly behaving people around me, and I’m only just realising this.

Any ideas anyone, thanks.

ts

[Marmalade]

In practice lots of people know, and need to know about court dates. The dates aren’t secret even in the family court. People have to book time off work so say they need time off as have a court hearing, or need child care for same reason. They may have to cancel arrangements because they have a court hearing or even mention to people they are going to court on a certain date so aren’t available for other things.
People then talk to each other so as with all things people could say “oh I heard x is off to court on y date”. It’s v common.
People are not sworn to secrecy about court dates by the court as there are obvious reasons why people have to say they are going there.

[Twisted Sister]

this person doesn’t fit into any of that, so that makes me feel real weird about all this now. Nobody knows each other’s work situations, and this person was not involved in court in any way, or certainly shouldn’t have been. The ‘people’ involved in this are only mother and father. Neither work anywhere near court proceedings and this person has no idea or knowledge of those people’s work colleagues. Totally different worlds, so that makes it more surprising having read you explain that, it makes it more clear to me. Court isn’t supposed to be discussed, especially where children are involved, and yes, whilst I agree there are occasions where parents do say, difficult separation, through court, children involved, and have a court date coming up, at court on that day, etc. for someone out of the blue to turn up and ask in that way is decidely odd, and now I’m just starting to try to work out why they would go out of their way to say that so weirdly (Was I attending?) I mean, what??? this stinks and there’s something more going on here, the more I think about it.

Or is that the epitome of over-thinking, or should I trust my instincts on this?

[Twisted Sister]

and how the hell did they know where I was!

[Marmalade]

Hi,
I can’t comment on this particular person or why they were some place you were or why they said it. What I can say is in general, it is perfectly possible for people to know others have a court date coming up.
For example, a friend was telling me someone in her office had a court date coming up as the gossip had spread round.
So it is possible that there is absolutely nothing suspicious about people knowing there is a date coming up.
If you have a court hearing coming up, then maybe don’t let this distract you and throw you off balance. You are unlikely to be able to do much about it, but it could distract you.
Good luck with sorting everything out at court.

[Twisted Sister]

Thanks Marmalade, I do hear what you’re saying, I do, but, without going into detail, the scenario’s you mention don’t apply. I can definitely see that people in offices, and elsewhere chatter, but it doesn’t work for this situation, because noone was in those situations, and the question still remains why this person turned up out of the blue ONLY to ask me whether I was attending a court date that we hadn’t even discussed, this person has form for behaving very badly, plus as we all know, ex’s use third parties to do their dirty work, and he’s that dirty player too, this person was involved in dirty play also, and has form for lying to court also, so in addition to behaving weirdly with me, and having access to dates but without access to any other people they have previously sought to mislead justice. My head is exploding!

[Author]

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