Now divorced

[Bettybird]

Hey… well you would think that my divorce coming through would be a happy thing. In fact I feel sad about it… sad for my pointless hopes and dreams…

[Anonymous]

At least you are free from him now, it is always sad when things don’t work out how we hoped, but no one expected abuse, I feel devastated by what has happened because it was awful and leaves us traumatised. Xx

[KIP.]

Mine coming up soon I hope. It’s one less thing for him to hold over me. I can understand your feelings though. It takes two to make a marriage work and as the wonderful man I married never actually existed, I have no guilt in ending it. I cried enough when I was with him and I won’t shed another tear over him. Onwards and upwards…….

[cupofcoffee]

Hi Bettybird, I know how you are feeling, it is such a weird mix of emotions going through this such as relief, but also sadness in what has happened, what was lost, etc. But this is totally normal, divorce is the most stressful thing to go through and your emotions will be up and down as expected, but in the long term you will feel relief.

[Bettybird]

Thank you for the messages…. not feeling so misunderstood x

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hey there! When my divorce came through I think I felt a huge sense of relief. I was very down during the divorce because I had never anticipated my life to turn out like this. I blamed him a lot for putting me in this position. But, I now realise the strength i had to leave my marriage was so immense that now I see myself as wiser, more knowledgeable and not the type of woman who stands for any rubbish! I don’t feel ashamed of my divorce and I don’t feel sad about it. It’s now a chapter in my life that I have closed and I’m starting a brand new beginning! It’s the death of a relationship but the start of a new beginning!!!! Let everything out you’re only human and just let your body and your mind feel what it needs to. But remember, it’s definitely hiss loss and not yours!!!!! You will gain some much more from being divorced from him than you ever did whilst you were married to him.x*x

[Bettybird]

hi there

thanks for the wise words… in time it will just be a distant memory I suppose. 😉

[Lightness]

Hi Betty
I hope you have the opportunity to think about new hopes and dreams or what a lovely future could be for you. I hope it’s waiting for you and that you enjoy creating it.

I think we process the loss during divorce but never completely because we have to stay strong to get through it. I imagine the reality and finality of him in your life is more acute after divorce but once you have processed it I hope you will feel positive and strong.

Very well done as I’m sure it was a difficult journey.

Lightness

[iwillbeok]

It’s over, so over. I never want to see him or hear him again, let alone take him back. I want to be divorced, I need to divorce him. I have the grounds so why am I dragging my heels?

It may be because I don’t want to re-open old wounds that have only just started to heal. I don’t know what to expect from him if I poke the ‘hornets nest’. What if this is the catalyst that sets him off (again)? He’s been so compliant. What if due to circumstances beyond my control, I’m forced into the same room as him (eg mediation)? I could not bear it.

I need closure but I know I’m not going to get it. I know he thinks he did nothing wrong, or at the very least I’m at least equally to blame
Takes 2 to make a marriage work, blah blah blah…

I had the strength to get away, to go to court, ots like its all used up – I have no reserves, no adrenaline pushing me…

[Author]

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