Odd behaviour

[Buddy]

Since I have been on here to you guys .. things are still the same doing the bare minimum talking wise !!
I told him in an argument that I am having counselling and on anti depressants and then a couple of days later still gobsmacked by the fact he has said nothing about this .. I asked him out right , do I have any empathy , he replied yes, I said why haven’t u asked me about the fact I am on tablets and going for counselling then , he denied knowing this ( even though I told him for sure)
Unbelievable .. and still hasn’t said anything to me about it !
I said (detail removed by moderator) so we are living together but seperate lives now right , he said (detail removed by moderator) !
What weird responses !
Is it possible to do this for now not to disrupt the children in your experiences ?
I have joined the gym and also building up my social life more, so he will have a shock when he realises I mean it

[Lisa]

Hi Buddy,

I wanted to see how you are since posting. As you have said it is hard to understand his behaviour. It sounds like you are taking great steps towards building a life without him by joining the gym and increasing your social life. Your confidence will grow by continuing to focus on your needs and a life free of abuse.

Keep posting to us to let us know how you are doing when you can.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Buddy]

Hi Lisa, no change here , he won’t talk as he says we always argue so just doing the basics !
I am waiting for the tablets to kick in apparently it takes a month .. then hopefully I will be back to feeling stronger mentally !
Is it abuse when they won’t talk and show any concern about you ie counselling etc or is it just arrogance and stubbornness x

[Eggshells]

Hi Buddy. In a loving, caring relationship, your partner would surely be very concerned to hear that you are taking antidepressants and needing counselling. It might even induce them to reflect a little on how they might have contributed and prompt them into discussion about what is the best way forward. Sadly, an abusive partner will rarely do this. If it’s not about them, then it’s not important.

Please be aware that when you first go onto antidepressants, you can experience a plunge in mood. If you do experience this, try to get help as you can spiral down very quickly. This isn’t especially common but when you are still trying to deal with the cause of your depression, it can be very difficult. If you do experience that dip, please know that it will be over very quickly. You just need to get through that short space of time somehow.

Please look after yourself. Once the tablets kick in, you will begin to feel a difference in your mood.xx

[Wiseafter]

Hey Buddy. Yes, it is abuse when they don’t talk to you. Ignoring you and your needs is a way of devaluing you. This is abuse. It is the way you feel as a result of your partner/husband’s behaviour towards you that matters. Not showing any concern for you and disregarding your feelings is neglecting your basic rights to be ‘heard’ and to be noticed and valued. You matter, you are important, you deserve better. You are coping really well and being so positive despite all that you are going through.

[Author]

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