Out and feeling overwhelmed

[Sunshinedrops]

It’s been almost (detail removed by moderator), the house is peaceful, the children happy but I’m grieving the entire relationship! It’s so hard. The realisation I’m going to be on my own is liberating and also terrifying! I go from yes I’ve made the right decision to having moments of oh s**t I’m crazy!
I list all the things I’m grateful for; not having to buy for that extra person, less washing, I can leave the dishes in the sink and nobody will comment, I can cook random dishes from nothing and the children think I’m a fabulous chef without the daily big dinners!
I have the bed all to myself, we can be silly and dance weird around the house, without feeling we are going to be disapprove off!
But there no more how’s your day been getting a cuddle ect but it wasn’t like that, for along time and I instantly go back when there was good times. My brain tricks me and I have to constantly remind myself no that’s not right remember when he said this, did this etc. And it slowly changes the perspective!
Keep going ladies every day a battle but I wouldn’t change my decision.
Sending my love to you all

[nbumblebee]

Well done to you for getting out what a huge achievement.
Alot of ladies on here use their old posts when they start to doubt or re reading a journal you may have kept. Lets be honest we never forget but I do think sometimes those rose tinted glasses slip back on and we must remind ourselves of how they treat us.
Time for you now to heal, keep talking and learning and growing sweetie keep being string and brave and know you have done the most amazing thing for yourself and your children, know that pksts like yours give people like me some hope. Thank you x

[Footballfan1]

Well done for getting out.
You are so brave.
It’s normal to keep having wobbles.
I have only been out for a short amount of time, a few months and it’s been hard not caving in.
When I’ve felt like giving in, I have posted on here and it’s helped me stay strong.
I think the hardest part is that we have to share custody of the kids, the handing over of the kids is really difficult and I miss him all over again every time I see him.
I think it might have to go back to no contact and use family to handover the children.
There was a incident near the beginning of our breakup which lead to him not being allowed to come near me.
My head was in such a better place then and as soon as the contact started again, my brain is all over the place.
Stay strong and keep posting!!

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Sunshinedrops, how are you feeling today? It is incredibly overwhelming when you first get out, I remember feeling how you describe…. you swinging from yes I have done it I am out wooho! to omg what have I done, how can i do this alone (with 2 children)…. I missed the future plans my husband and I planned, the days when he was ‘nice’ and would be normal (hugs, talks, drives), even writing this down here makes me feel anxiety and I have been out over a year now. It gets better, I realised I was doing most on my own anyhow so yes I coped.

Lean on your support Sunshinedrops, keep posting ❤️ I hope you are ok?
HFH

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