Over **, divorced with child and being controlled by my mother

[Courage157]

I am tired… left my husband many years ago, my mother controls my life, she refuses me to date anyone saying I need to wait until my child is old because if anything happens to me my child will go to his father (who I left because he was controlling). She gets angry and shouts for hours if I mention someone wants to take me out. She has always been like this which is why I married to get out but now I’m older I’m tired. I want to go see this person soon but have anxiety already fearing how I will get out. I will only do anything when my child is with their parent too so it’s not like I’m letting my child see mummy is dating etc… I know it’s wrong and I should not allow my mum to control me but you don’t understand how much she shouts and upsets me to the point I either get so upset or go in my room for days

[Lisa]

Hi Courage157,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. What you have described sounds very exhausting- escaping a controlling marriage and being critcized by your mother in this way must be really distressing.

you are your own person and you know whats best for you. you have every right to set your boundaries around this.

You could try calling Supportline who offer confidential emotional support to reach people before they get to “crisis” point. They offer support by telephone, email and post. They work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self-esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. They also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups throughout the UK. They cover a wide range of issues, including domestic abuse. They can also refer locally. You can contact them on 01708 765200 or visit their website at http://www.supportline.org.uk.

You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at https://bloom.chayn.co/. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

I hope this helps

Best Wishes
Lisa

[Courage157]

Thank you Lisa 😔😘🙏

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