Over-explaining as a trauma response

[HugsAndStuff]

Hi all,

I learnt that over-explaining things is a trauma response, particularly a fawn type response that occurs if you’ve experienced a lot of gaslighting. I’ve put this post in the ‘positive moments’ section because I figured this out while with my current partner, who is wonderful and a walking green-flag. He was so supportive and reassured me that my need to over-explain this to alleviate anxiety doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me, and he keeps reassuring me that we’ll figure this out together.
I do feel bad that I haven’t figured this one out sooner, to save him having to deal with it with me, but I really couldn’t have asked for a better partner.
Does anyone else over-explain things because they get anxious?

[Shura]

constantly, even at work. another thing ive been made aware of one of my colleagues lately, i say sorry all the time, havent even realized that before. and i do, i caught myself saying sorry multiple times a day when it wasnt something to say sorry for. its weird how good people around notice that about us. my family used to say they always new when my ex was back in my life cos id always shot myself out, would be very quite and would show extremes emotion, sadness or anger, it could be anything but the extremes versions. last year or so, i hear people telling me that im different, smiling and i look so relaxed. green flags are awesome, you deserve someone good next to you and enjoy it, let him be good to you x*x

[iliketea]

All the time. Thanks for posting this. I was just thinking this morning. Why do I tell people so much stuff and don’t know half the information about them. Any story I tell is soooo detailed its ridiculous.

[StrongLife]

Yes, if I get triggered I do. Thanks for pointing it out.

[Sparkle wand]

Yes, all the time 😞

[Author]

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