Ow brother

[Monkey1234]

I grew up in a pretty privileged environment. I had everything. But my brother had a hard time growing up. When I was a baby he was ill for a while and after he tried to compensate with his friends. He fell into the wrong crowd and started doing drugs when he wasn’t even (detail removed by Moderator). My parents both worked a lot and so it would be just me and him at home. What started as simple sibling stuff slowly turned into torture as his addiction developed. I would be locked in a closet or hung by a rope around my waist in a tree for over 8 hours. Dragged up and down the stairs by my hair, beaten up and threatened with sharp objects daily. When I was older I made food and cleaned the house, only to get the plate thrown at me or shoved in my face. I was almost killed (detail removed by Moderator) times, and the last time I have no memory of how I could have survived, as I was sure he had strangled me to death. My parents never told me what happened. My parents never acknowledged it, police said I was just a overly dramatic girl. As I was a gymnast I was always covered in bruises anyway. Nobody wanted to hear it and I would never be as smart as he was. My teachers and parents told me to just get married with a pretty face like mine, because a career wasn’t in the card for me. I got depressed and didn’t see the use of me living if nobody else did. But when I was (detail removed by Moderator) I got an internship working with (detail removed by Moderator) and I lived there for (detail removed by Moderator) years. I had found my passion and a new family. I built my life from scratch and got education. I never found the right help. Even though I’m happy now, some days I can tell I never really healed. I’m afraid to have babies of my own, and I never really get out of survivor mode, always on high alert. Everybody sees me as this privileged white woman, who cant possible know what its like, so I still stay silent. I’m not as confident as my peers, and it effects my career. I’m trying to learn how to move on with my life without him still holding me back, and its not easy.   

[KIP.]

Hello and welcome. How well you have done while carrying around the burden of abuse. Power to you. My first thought it to recommend good counselling. Talk to your GP and source someone skilled with experience of family abuse. What your brother did was wrong. Illegal and your parents minimising it must have been shocking. Please don’t let these experiences hold you back from enjoying everything life has to offer. Good counselling can help you deal with and move beyond the abuse. Absolutely none of it was your fault x

[Monkey1234]

Thank you, I have tried reaching out. But the counselor I was appointed to by my GP had no idea what I was talking about and couldnt relate at all. So I looked for something else by myself, I found an alternative form of counseling but nobody ever told me something I didnt already know or tried myself. Luckily I have an incredible supportive partner, but its important for me to find something that will work so I can move foreward.

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