Panicking about police help!

[Happybelle]

So my amazing friend and ally filed a police report on my behalf last week following an escalation. They have been an incredible friend and I’m very lucky.
Now the police are v interested and want to talk it through and now I’m all panicky inside about what if I get into trouble because of all the things that have happened and sending me through the spinner in my mind!
Anyone else been there – how was it, were you supported?? I’m not a person who has ever been in trouble and I hate this stuff and even the thought of it but I also know I’m simply not able to resolve my domestic issues on my own.

[Hereforhelp]

Hey Happybelle… so good that you have a trusted friend supporting you…

I remember the overwhelming feeling of self doubt after reporting my husband’s abuse to the police… Take a breath, you haven’t done anything wrong..this is about your partner being held responsible for his actions… I remember being contacted by the police afterwards, follow ups, as I have children Social were involved and I had an IDVA/ISVA contact me…. it was very overwhelming.

The police will do a safety questionnaire with you (I forget the name of the form but it is standard In DA/DV reports and is designed to keep you safe.

Remember this is due to him abusing you, him breaking the Law, you have reported him to keep yourself safe (and potentially his next victim now there is a footprint).

You are very brave, I understand how frightening this is, I also wasn’t used to dealing with the police and it felt huge… take a breath, go at your own pace, the police cannot force you to say or agree to anything you do not want to (unless someone is specifically in danger from him).

For the Sexual Abuse I went through and reported the police videod that interview, I decided not to proceed with the SA as it was too much and is still too much for me to proceed with (itnis open if I decide to go ahead)..

What I would say is if your partner continues in any way to contact you please report it.. I sent emails I received from my husband to the police, it forwarded everything and continue to do so, no matter how small it may seem to anyone else. It helped the police by showing patterns of his behaviour.

Keep posting and take it hour by hour if needed, be kind to you.

HFH ❤️

[smallbutbrave]

Hi there

Sorry to jump in on this but I have also recently been in touch with the police a d reported lots of abuse at the hands of my OH. It was too overwhelming for me and I decided not to take it any further but the police said to get in touch in the future if I need to, I get really abusive texts from my OH daily can I forward them to the police via email?

[Happybelle]

Thanks so much 🙂

[Allornothing]

Hi, just to say quickly, I believe it is a DASH risk assessment that most agents will carry out to rate the level of risk.

There only needs to be 2 incidents of harassment for a case to be opened, if you receive daily texts then definitely get in touch with the police, you could even do it online and once they open a case, they can send a link for screenshots to be uploaded.

Everything is about the evidence and I truly advise people to save and catalogue everything you can. Xx

[Happybelle]

Thank you :).
Have had the initial conversation with them. To be fair I’m just totally freaked out by it. I’m really lucky I haven’t had any kind of physical assault or even been threatened really. All the questions were just daunting and now I just feel like I’ve opened a massive can of worms which adds more to the stress of it all!!! Wondering if I can just back track it all or whether now it’s been reported I may not have a choice to have it all dropped.
Babbling as it’s sleepy time and I’m totally wired and stressed about it now !!

[ocean20]

Hi happybelle x
I totally get where you are coming from.
I had to call 999 after an argument got very scary with my OH and I’ve been feeling anxious about it ever since.
They wanted to arrest him and only didn’t because it seemed to cause me a lot of distress.
There’s been radio silence since so I am trying not to worry. But I do believe it’s a nice feeling to just know they’re on your side and as soon as you’re happy to progress they are ready and waiting. It’s your secret weapon.
X

[Bulbssprouting]

I’m in the middle of it all myself. All I would say, you know your truth, you can tell that to the police. Going on from there it is not your decision, it is the police or the CPS. So let them take that burden and look after yourself. X

[maddog]

When I first had contact with the police, I was absolutely terrified, especially about what the abuser may do next. Hopefully you’ll be offered an ISVA or IDVA as a sort of go-between to support you through the police investigation. They work Normal People hours while the DC in your case will be on duty all over the place. They act as a sort of go-between and also have loads of knowledge about local relevant support.

Everything to do with the police takes forever, and it’s very hard feeling so in the dark. Although it feels as though our abusers should be locked up forever and the keys thrown away, this is unlikely. It doesn’t mean that the police won’t do whatever they can to protect us or that we shouldn’t report. It’s also worth remembering that only catastrophic outcomes hit the news and the good things are ignored

[Happybelle]

Thank you for your replies ladies :).
A lot can happen in a month!
I ended up having to call the police directly anyway and they have been great. I now have my home back and starting to get some peace. A “no contact” requirement from the police also helps a lot.
Here’s to all of us and these nightmare times finding strength we didn’t know we had x

[Happybelle]

Just reading this back is crackers how much can change in such a short period of time. Im already part way through preparing my home for sale ready to move on. Wont be long now :).

[Author]

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