people supporting my abuser

[spiritedaway]

I am really hurting and angry at the moment. I have gone no contact to protect myself physically and mentally. But I watch people supporting him saying things like – he’s so lovely. I really want to shout and scream and defend the reality of what has happened to me. I just need to let this out

Is it lovely to:
– tell me I don’t understand finances
– shout at me that he’s hungry and dinner isn’t ready as soon as I finish work when there is a kitchen full of food
– belittle me in front of people
– stalk other women
– make me feel fat and unattractive
– demand attention only ever on his terms
– get angry at me that I wouldn’t show affection
– ignore me when younger women are about
– hate my tattoos but gush over other womens tattoos
– shout at me if I took too long on the toilet
– shout at me if I didn’t explain what was happening in a TV show. The thing he had been watching and talked over.
– slap me
– threaten to batter me
– threaten to kill me
– raise a hand and laugh
– always make it so I had to leave and walk away
– insist washing up was done as soon as anything was finished, not when everyone was finished
– boast that he could have killed me
– only seek help as a controlling gesture
– threaten suicide to control me and make me stay
– not let me sleep
– shout at me when I was sick
– never listen to my concerns
– shout at me for sneezing
– shout at me for blowing my nose
– not be quiet when I had a migraine

and after all that has left me so frozen in fear that I have no idea what life looks like now, who I am

[minimeerkat]

just want to send you a hug & tell you i understand this completely – i should think there are many others too who have felt this same pain & frustration
i also had to go no contact & protect myself from even the possibility of ever hearing/seeing anything from others regarding how ‘wonderful’ my ex was
is there any way you can shield yourself from hearing or seeing this triggering information at all. can you do a little bit more to protect yourself. if you are in contact with others who mention your ex could you ask them to stop doing this – if you had to perhaps even explain about your trauma
keeping silent after seeing or hearing any of this painful bull…t will hopefully say more than any words of protest. and remember its hard work keeping up this pretence & the truth of who they really are may still surface
sadly many are duped just as we were into believing the facade x

[spiritedaway]

that is all I needed to hear there are others that understand x

it so helps to let it out and know it’s not just me

[StrongLife]

Hi there,

There are a lot of people supporting the ex in my life.

Find others in your life – professionals and friends who support you. I have found this helps

[Author]

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