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Does anyone struggle to look at photos of your ex ?
I have come into work today to get caught up whilst kids are with their father. Thought i’d have a sort out of my desktop and have a folder there titled pics. Had a look in and it’s pics of the kids mainly but there’s a couple of the kids with him and looking at it immediately made me feel anxious and I deleted all the pics.
It’s the eyes. I always knew his mood by his eyes and looking at a picture i’m drawn to them and feel like they bore a whole into my soul 🙁
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Yes avoid all photos or reminders. I came off all social media too. Any contact or reminders are toxic. It does get easier but even now I don’t want to see anything. I did keep a few pics of him when our son was born just in case my son ever asks. But I kept the ones he looks awful in. The rest I binned. I may still bin those ones but I dealt with it gradually x
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I quarantined mine for about a year, put them on a hard-drive I didn’t have to look at. And then went through and deleted every single one of him in there. I am glad they are gone, although I found the process of deleting them hard, as like you I had to look through as he only featured in a few, and I didn’t want to lose the photos I had of my friends and family from that time.
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It does get easier as he becomes much less ‘important’ in your life. Your whole thought pattern has to change and that takes time. The trauma bond keeps us in a fog for quite a while. Even now I’m only working at 60 percent of brain power, I reckon I was working on 30 percent and down as low as 5 percent when traumatised. Trauma steal your rational thinking. Sending our brain back to fight flight or freeze. Meaning the rational part gets shut down x takes time to break that down and rewire our brain. You will get there in the end x
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I kept them, as I intended to give them to our child when he got older/asked. Eventually, I ended up going through all of them and cutting any with ex or related to ex into tiny strips. This took a long time. Now I think those phots were not for me to keep, however the future goes, if our child has a relationship with them, I imagine they will have their own photos. If they have questions, they know they can ask. They did meet and I know oc has memories of them
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