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    • #40698
      Meringue
      Participant

      I did an online benefits calculation today and think I might be able to afford going solo (although I pay most hugs just now, he does pay a couple of bills and I really rely on that financially). But I’m so scared, wondering what his reaction would be. Terrified he’ll take the children away. Worried I won’t be able to manage without him. I’d like him to leave so I can stay in the house but I can’t really see how that would happen. I know it’s only bricks and mortar but I love our house and we spent years living in a horrible place that I hated and he refused to move. I was so happy when he finally agreed to move here.

    • #40699
      Meringue
      Participant

      Err, bills not hugs!

    • #40704
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Heya, the general advice on here is not to tell him what you’re planning. Get out (or get him out) and get you and the kids safe.

      I didn’t find this place until afterwards and my ex did all the things you worry about. I think it’s something like 70% of women killed by their partners were separated so it’s a really dangerous time for us. When they feel they are losing they can lash out.

      You know what he’s capable of and you’re prepared so that’s great. Definitely go and get legal advice as there may be a way you can get him out of the family home.

      Good luck xx

    • #40715
      Confused123
      Participant

      HI Hun

      We all worry about if we can cope but we end up coping as without them aqround our head is clearer, no need to tell him, find a place yourself or have him removed

    • #40719

      I went through the same thing worrying I couldn’t cope financially but I’m fine now and you will be too. I stayed for the last year with horrific abuse all because I didn’t think I could cope then one day he left for work and I just snapped locked him out and here I am. If I can do it with 3 kids you can. It’s so much nicer without him in my head xx

    • #40864
      cupcakes
      Participant

      I am in the same position as you however I have told him to leave but not sure if he believes me as his still here. I am so worried about money as I earn very little. I want to stay in the house with the kids but it’s gonna be really hard…its daunting and scary so I know how you are feeling good luck x

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