Plucked up the courage to call helplines…

[ILoveMusic]

So I finally pick up the phone whilst my abuser is out and call women’s aid – the council – a local charity that support women in a DV situation and every one of them was busy and only had option to leave a message. I appreciate how busy they all are which is a measure of how many of us are out here and at the same time I am so deflated that having thought I need some sort of help/advice here and dialled the numbers I didn’t get anywhere at all…Back on it I suppose when I find the courage to do it again and the monster has left the building.

[Bettybird]

Hello lovely.. well how brave are you! if you can do that once, you can do it again.. when its safe. Its s shame that you didnt get what you hoped for but please dont give up. I tried 13 times ringing a helpline and every time i got an answerphone … I nearly gave up but so glad i didnt. Keep going!!! hugs x

[Serenity]

I remember waiting over 24 hours for a call back in the early days, and couldn’t always get through.

Don’t give up. Once you get through, you’ll be supported.

It’s sad that there is so much need for these DV services.

Keep on trying! xx

[ILoveMusic]

OMG one of the charities I contacted has been in touch, done a risk assessment and said they would definitely be able to help me out of this…Typing this with tears streaming down my face (afraid he will come in and ridicule me for crying) Charity is calling me again next Friday to go over more stuff and look at ways to moving forward..SOMEONE ACTUALLY CARES!!! The day may come when I am free of the monster AND have a roof over my head…please God.

[Lisa]

Hi ILoveMusic,

It must have taken a lot of courage to make the initial phone calls so it brilliant to hear they have contacted you back. Well done, be proud and believe in yourself.

Keep posting to us when you can!

Best wishes,
Lisa

[ILoveMusic]

Hi Lisa,

Thank you for your support and yes it took immense courage to make those phone calls – Numerous times when I felt strong enough to tell someone what I’m going through and picked the phone up the monster in charge would appear and I would have to act normal and pretend all was fine…exhausting.

Without this website I would be truly lost. X

[Ariel]

Well done to you x

[KIP.]

Hang in there. Keep reaching out for help ❤️

[Nova]

Great to hear! Keep going keep safe

Hugs Cx

[Alicenotichains]

You are so brave. It’s sounds like you are in a living hell. It never occurred to me for many years that I was being abused. It just seemed that the world has gone sad and grey and that I had failed in some way. I was always getting everything wrong, always making them angry. I look back now, I read your post and my heart weeps. You are so brave for reaching out for help- it is so hard to see it when you are in it and you also love the abuser. Stay strong ILoveMusic. You deserve a peaceful life and you can and will have one X

[ILoveMusic]

AliceNIChains – your words touched me. Thank you X

[Houndgirl]

It’s true, when you are in it you can’t see it. Then, when you are out, the world is such a big lonely place. I’m still struggling to come to terms with everything and don’t have much support from so called friends so have pulled away from them one by one. I hid the reality for so long they now think I’m overreacting! They see the fake front he is so good at showing and think he’s just a ‘nice bloke’.

[iwillbeok]

ILoveMusic – keep going hon! You have been so brave! I’m in tears as I write this remembering how brave I was, not so long ago. I now have my freedom – still things to work out (property/stuff/financial) but I am free in my own home, not quite yet in my own mind but I’m working on that. Stay strong lovely, you deserve to be happy and free. My best feeling was when I was believed. A close family made a point of emailing after we had spoken to say that he was in shock during the call but he had meant to say “I believe you.” Posting on here gives that power too – the common threads in our stories astound me!

AliceInChains –

It never occurred to me for many years that I was being abused. It just seemed that the world has gone sad and grey and that I had failed in some way. I was always getting everything wrong, always making them angry.

This struck so true for me – I would be doing something nice eg picking up a takeaway in the lovely village we used to live in and think to myself “This should be the happiest time of my life…….” I seriously think if he hadn’t escalated things to breaking point at the end I would still be there: stuck in his prison with the door wide open; the negativity, the control, the never-ending responsibility for everything…

I still have moments of doubt when I look back and try and work out when it started; yes the end was very traumatic and we had not been happy for years – but was he always like this? The answer I have to keep reminding myself is that the only reason he felt he could attempt to break me in such a traumatic way is that he believed he had put in the effort over time where I would be breakable and controllable. And so many of the red flags were there at the beginning but I was so young and naïve and thought it was romantic…

Stay strong ILoveMusic x

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