police

[Ayla Doni]

I had a rather awful time dealing with two insensitive male police. I became so distressed that I got confused about what they were asking me. One of them then asked if I was mentally ill or if I could read or write! even though I’d discussed texting, had written notes in my hand at one point and had mentioned this website as being helpful. it felt demeaning like they were implying I’m thick. I’ve never been asked these questions before by anyone, are they standard? I felt disbelieved and treated like a hysterical female who is being a bit silly. my ex has a history of violence and arson. Am now hiding again as they can’t guarantee my safety and are implying that there’s no victim here.

[iamme]

Hello Ayla

So sorry to hear about your experience with the police. I’ve had a similar experience with health professionals. I think it all boils down to lack of experience and training. What they don’t realise is everytime you’re not taken seriously, it makes you less likely to seek help. Don’t let this make you disbelieve yourself. Talk to someone onthe helpline. They’re more likely to understand whats happened to you and will give you all the support and advice you need. Take care, stay safe x

[Freedomfighter]

Hi Ayala,
So sorry to hear about your awful experience with the police. I find it astonishing that even with the current high profile of mental health issues professionals like police and GPs even some counsellors don’t seem to have a clue about these things when they are usually the first port of call for survivors of abuse
It’s no wonder these men have been getting away with abusing us for long and why we are so reluctant to ask for help.
It’s hard enough to cope with being abused by men who say they love us and we expect to love and protect us, we do not need to have to deal with being treated like idiots on top.
Doesn’t give me a lot of faith in the system!
Maybe you could take a friend or advocate with you and ask if they have any officers with experience with abuse victims as the last pair were useless!
Obviously it’s their problem, not you. Granted it’s distressing and infuriating but try not to let it upset you too much. Don’t let them make you feel bad about yourself, they obviously haven’t got a clue. I dread to think what they would make of me if I was ever in that situation. I’d be terrified and probably crying my eyes out.
Even without specialist training you would have thought with your ex’s history they would have taken you seriously. Quite frankly their attitude sounds rude and disrespectful never mind insensitive. Shocking!

[SunshineRainflower]

I’m sorry to hear this, I had a similar bad experience with a male police officer who seemed skeptical about my story despite not even being in the room when I reported it and tried to use my mental health against me. These ignorant macho male police officers are disgusting. I wrote to an MP who campaigns about domestic violence about it because it absolutely has to change. If you contact them again insist on speaking to the specialist domestic violence team in the police as all the others are useless in my experience.

[Borntobefree]

Hi
I had an awful experience with police

Police refered me to mental health where I was diagnosed with ptsd.. due to my ex using my past against me… . Apparently I was to blame. Because I had depression at the time of meeting my ex … it was all used against me ..

I felt sick for a long time

Police need more training
I was vulnerable at the time

So basically it was my fault I was abused

[KIP.]

Don’t let this pit you off reporting everything. Ask to speak to domestic abuse officers. The regular police let me down too. My rapist was at the bottom of the street and aparantly I was supposed to wait for him to actually do something. Accused me of wasting police time! You did nothing wrong. Even if you have mental health problems, which I have, it’s a direct result of the mental injuries you sustained. A natural reaction to trauma. Yes, more training but if enough of us go back and keep reporting then maybe eventually something will change. Try to write down everything you want to say first. That’s what I did. I was too traumatised so I handed them my letter. It gets easier. Just be kind to yourself meantime and keep posting for support x

[Author]

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