Police

[Pelican123]

Police have been investigating for over (number removed by Moderator) months now. They haven’t treated me well and I have had to put in complaints. They have never supported me but are now refusing to answer any questions. I’m at a loss to know what to do.

[Marmalade]

Hi Pelican123,

Women on here have different experiences of police.  Some have felt very supported, others have had horrendous experiences.

I understand totally what you are saying.

I had a similar experience.

[Pelican123]

Thanks for replying. I’ve found it abusive to be honest. The total lack of humanity I’ve been shown. The culture seems to be toxic.

[Madfan336]

I made official complaints because lack of knowledge of emotional abuse and they say gaslighting isn’t illegal when its coercive control which is illegal!

they were too quick to get me to attend a video interview but rubbish at dealing with it

however the good news is if a new gf asks what abuser is like they will tell him his past investigations and the abuse questions replies I gave!

[Pelican123]

Did your complaints get anywhere?

I still haven’t got any decision on the investigation or the investigation into the complaint but it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle

[Marmalade]

You will have to be very tenacious when it comes to the complaint as they will try to sweep under carpet and close ranks .

Have you put in a formal complaint, following the complaint procedure that they should give details about on their website? It should say the timescales for a response. Be ready to chase in writing .

A bit of advice. You may have a friendly officer ring you to chat about your complaint and ask some questions. Do not be lulled into a false sense of security. Put everything in writing. Confirm what you discussed and what you said in an email. Keep a note of the call and what you say and make sure that it is backed up in writing. Otherwise, when you get the final formal response to your complaint, you may find that your “chat” is completely misrepresented and you have no way of proving what you actually said.

I fully agree that my experience of the police was also abusive. My officer should never be employed in that role. Stand up for your rights. Expect them to close ranks. Document everything. I can’t say more publicly but if you have questions about the general process feel free to PM me.

I have to say that some police forces are very supportive and no woman should be discouraged from reporting. That is so very important.

[Pelican123]

I’ve sent you a message

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