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I recently ended a short term relationship (detail removed by Moderator). I knew he’d be emotional but he just wouldn’t accept it. He ended up getting into my house whilst the kids were there. I had to call the police (detail removed by Moderator). They have installed an alarm and classed it as high risk and they are going to arrest him but the whole incident including the build up to it has completely broken me. This is the 4th abusive relationship that I’ve had. This one was so kind but very good at making things serious before I was ready…I’d just got out of my previous relationship and was vulnerable but he was so different. I wouldn’t class myself as an idiot but I’m beginning to feel like one. It just goes to show there are so many guys out there that don’t respect boundaries that don’t take no for an answer. They mentioned Claire’s law, I wish I’d used this as he has had previous convictions.
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That sounds very hard Primrose. I am sorry that that has happened to you. You are not an idiot. Far from. The fact that you ended the relationship so quickly shows that you have identified that he wasn’t right for you, and that your boundaries are working well. You clearly saw the red flags when he tried to accelerate the relationship beyond its natural pace. So well done.
You are not the problem, it’s the men you have abused and mistreated you. They are the ones who cannot have healthy relationships. The good news is that you can and will form a healthy relationship but start off with the one with yourself. Make sure you are being compassionate, kind and loving to yourself. Perhaps give yourself a bit of time to recover. And then look for somebody who treats you with love, care, trust and respect. There are loads of really nice partners out there. Your boundaries will flush out any abusers. You sound like you are doing really well- keep going x
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