police involvement

[smallbutbrave]

hi all

 

things have gotten bad again here and he is being very abusive.  There have been threats to kill again and I am left questioning my own reality.  I jist can not go on like this anymore and something needs to change because he isn’t.

 

I contacted the police over a year ago but out of fear I didn’t take it any further and he never knew.  However I feel it is my only option if it escalates again.  I am just worried what will happen?  I had a load of evidence but he found it and deleted it all.  So if they don’t charge him can he just come back to our home??  Will he walk free?  If he knows I have called the police on him I dread to think what tue consequence would be to me.

[EvenSerpentsShine]

I don’t know if anyone can answer a question about what the police will do. I do think it may depend on a lot of different factors. I have heard that sometimes abusers are interviewed and then released and are free to return to the shared home, but I’ve also heard that abusers can be given non-molestation or similar orders, so that they can’t go back to the home, at least not for a certain length of time.
If you have a shared property then I’m guessing it will have to be sold anyway and you’ll have to find another place to live. You probably won’t be able to stay in the same property, unless it is rented and you can take on the rent, or you can buy him out of his half if it’s a jointly owned property.

I suppose I mean that you may have to think about where you live for the long term, in which case this may affect your decisions now anyway, as to whether leaving may be your best option. Only you can know the answer to this.
In which case the police may be able to get him out of the house for long enough that you can move yourself and your stuff out.

[EvenSerpentsShine]

Just to add, that even though it feels like a major upheaval to leave your home, it may well be really advisable in any case. Partly because he sounds dangerous, and it may be better to be away from him and living somewhere where he can’t find you. Also from the point of view of memories, it may be much easier to move on if you’re not being continually reminded of  past events in your shared house.

[Author]

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