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Ive been juggling all the childcare, working (high pressure from home while I have kids), hunting for rental house to move out, making plan with a lawyer for seperation agreement, doing nice things with the kids, caring for the house etc, night waking toddler… for so long. The abuse from my partner is more and more now he knows Im leaving. He called me a p***k yest and today he has given me an earful because I asked him to have the kids while I worked today (he agreed to this last week but is already trying to get out of it by saying HE has to work and why should he etc). He cant control his temper in front of the kids anymore.. Im exhausted. I said I would never consider refuge but I am absolutely totally exhausted. I feel like Im just a verbal abuse punching bag (not physical) and now Im desperately trying to cram in all my work while he has taken kids swimming even though 1 – its impossible to take 2 preschoolers swimming at once and 2 – one of them is terrified of the swimming pool. He will come home in a rage, trip will have been a disaster and I will spend the rest of the day being in trouble and trying to do nice things for the kids and not working as Im meant to. I am getting so behind on work and if I lose this I wont have any money with which to move out. Im really sad and fed up. 🙁
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How dreadful. He sounds awful.
Are you able to ask any friends or family to help you over the holiday period?
I could never rely on my ex to give the children a good day out. He’d end up ill ting them. They’d come back white with exhaustion.
You sound like a lovely mum who is very concerned for her children’s wellbeing. If your partner is anything like my ex, he will be jealous of how much effort you put into being a mum.
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Abusers are at their most dangerous when they know we are trying to leave them. This is a very dangerous time for you and your kids and I would get to a refuge soon and make plans from there. Are you in touch with your local women’s aid? I really fear for you. My ex was never really physical until I tried to leave. He assaulted me and was arrested. Don’t let it get to that stage. Sounds very close. Mine upped the abuse, I just didn’t realise the danger I was in as I was in survival mode. He’s going to sabotage any plans you have and make you so mentally drained you can’t think straight. Why isn’t he moving out?
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I’m going to stay with family a bit this holidays but its so far (2.5/3 hrs drive) and means I can’t view any rental houses. He isnt going to ‘go quietly’ and I can’t afford the mortgage on this house so my only option is to rent ATM. I hate it. I hate hi for putting us through all this pain.
Kids had a great time swimming… I was so relived I lavished him with praise and he spent the rest of the day telling me how to do everything as dads know best. (detail removed by moderator) On its own. I hate him.
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