Reading recommendation that has helped me MASSIVELY

[Fallingleaves]

Hi everyone
Thought this would be the best section to post this in.
I’ve been reading a book called “was it even abuse” restoring clarity after covert abuse, by Emma Rose Byham and I can’t recommend it enough.
I left my relationship (detail removed by moderator) ago and have had the usual back and forth struggle with myself about whether it was really that bad, is he abusive, was I the problem etc etc etc (as many of us seem to) and this book is giving me SO much clarity, knowledge and tools to support myself.
Just wanted to recommend it to others, I’ve done a lot of reading and research around the subject and it’s the best thing I’ve found so far.
I got my copy from Amazon, she also has an instagram page you can follow too.
Sending love to every body whatever point of the journey you’re on x*x

[nbumblebee]

Im always looking for books that will help me believe accept and really trust myself ive not read this one thank you for the recomendation will buy it now.

[Fallingleaves]

You’re welcome hope it helps!

[Twisted Sister]

Hello Fallingleaves

Thanks for the recommendation, I hadn’t heard of it, but wanted to also recommend a couple of the best books I’ve come across, the first one is called ‘Living with the Dominator’, Pat Craven, she’s the founder of the help groups called ‘The Freedom Programme’, for women only, and this book sets out really clearly each of the groups of tactics that a perpetrator employs, and I found it invaluable for identifying exactly what he’d been doing, and also can’t recommend the Freedom Programme enough either, for feeling safe in a group of women who have experienced the same and sharing, or just listening to their experiences. You can usually dip in and out if you can’t manage the full programme, of around 10 I think, run during term-time to assist for women who have children, arrangements are sometimes made for pre-schoolers too.

I’d also recommend Lundy Bancroft’s ‘Why does he do that?’, it hits hard reading the explanations behind the behaviours, and the feelings you are left with.

Both long-time recommendations for those in abuse, or out. All the best for your own journey too.

warmest wishes

ts

[Fallingleaves]

Hi twisted sister!
I’ve read one of these but not the other so I will do, thank you, the book I mentioned also references both these writers and books in her writing as important things to read too xx

Also while I’m here, I just wanted to say how much I admire all of the considered, supportive and measured replies you always give on the forums, I always see your name come up and you always have such wise and supportive things to say. I don’t post a lot but I always notice it when I’m reading through xx

[Hiya@]

Hi
Thank you for the recommendations, much appreciated. I am currently reading Trauma Bonding by Dr Annely Alexander. It’s quite blunt but also interesting. I would say the audible narration is pretty awful but it’s helpful to have the information repeated.

Xx

[Author]

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