Realisation it was abuse

[Mellow]

I left (detail removed by Moderator) and I’m still coming to terms with the fact I was and still being abused. since I left he is using the kids to take part and as they are young they don’t understand.he will make them read out phone contacts and ask them to join in calls which could become abusive and I have to tell them to put phone down .it’s all aimed at me not them.
I didn’t understand what triangulation was and now I know I’ve been triangulated. when I tried to explain it in the past he laughed at me for calling it abuse. I couldn’t explain what happened to me till I looked into it and found it hard to explain till I told people.
He was always nasty then nice immediately after I never understood itandididnt know what manipulative was I’ve heard it said so many times but didn’t know what it was and still I struggle to realise what manipulative is?! I now realise a lot of my relationships have been manipulative I’ve been encouraged todo things I don’t want I was in a coercive marriage before I turned (detail removed by Moderator) I have now gone to the police related to this as I didn’t want that and I ended up pregnant and even times said no to sex then got in another manipulative relationship.I’ve now seen even my parents have been abusive in some way I think one parent changed after leaving abuse but one remained somewhat abusive.I’m struggling with realising this and that I don’t think I’ve ever been loved for me only for what I can give people I’ve always been a provider in relationships and now I’m thinking all that money I could of spent on my kids and even bought a house im disgusted with myself.

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