Really don’t know what to do

[Judy]

I’m still in a mentally abusive relationship. I’m struggling as I’m not an English citizen but have indefinite leave to remain. I don’t earn a lot of money and feel stuck.

[Darcy]

Hi My beautiful Angel … Judy,
I am sorry you are feeling stuck
Please make sure you are safe and if you need extra support that you contact women’s aid or a similar support group
I know what its like to feel stuck in a relationship, I had no access to a site like this or even my phone so I had to work my way out from the inside out!
The inside of me!
I had to get clear in my head that this was not the life I wanted to continue living
I took the focus off his bad behaviour and started to focus on myself… through this I became stronger and more confident eventually giving me the courage to leave
I use to have a mantra in my head continuously saying, I’m going to have it all again and more
Its not easy when you live with such a dominating character, however every moment I had I would do something for me… this was usually something like yoga in the bathroom so he couldn’t get to me or subtle things that he didn’t notice to much
You cant fight fire with fire so try and become positive about what is good around you, however small… believe me quite quickly things will start to change and you will set the wheels in motion to leave him
You have made a great first step posting on the forum, so keep posting and stay connected
Sending you continued love and support
Darcy xx

[Judy]

Thank you Darcy, I’m sorry you went through all that. I’m trying so hard to work on myself and want to leave but I’m so worried about any support I might get from the government that it won’t be enough to live off.
Taking it day by day. I hope your dealing with your situation well xx

[Wants To Help]

Hi,

If you have indefinite leave to remain then you should get the same benefits as a UK Citizen. If your town/city has a local migrant centre they will be able to advise you on your rights. There is a migrant centre in my town and they have drop in days for advice and access to immigration solicitors. If your partner is giving you information that you will not be entitled to anything if you leave him then don’t listen to him, seek out the information for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Also the Citizens Advice Bureau should be able to advise. Try online or telephone.

[Author]

Posts