Regimented routine!

[Serenity]

Even after you’ve got out, the abuse affects you. It takes a long time to recover.

During bad days or weeks, it would be easy to let the day pass in a haze. It’s like you have depersonalisation- you feel like you aren’t even in control of your own body, you’re just steeped in this anxiety. Hours could pass with you doing nothing.

Whilst time to just ‘be’ is important, do is trying to move on.

I’m sharing this because it’s really helped me, and may help others who are struggling.

The night before, I sit down and write a plan for the next day, hour by hour. That includes a healthy breakfast and hygiene, maybe exercise, work, relaxation, etc. And I try to force myself to stick to it ( whilst not berating myself too much if I don’t!).

It helps, as I achieve little things in hour blocks, which helps me not to feel stuck and like a victim in limbo. Having things pile up unattended can add huge stress.

I tick things off as I go.

I’ve even begun to type and print out a monthly plan, a list of things to do, with the most urgent first. I tick the things off as I complete them.

It helps me feel like I am grabbing don’t control back, and I am just as firm about allowing myself the hours when I do nothing and don’t feel guilty about it- as I feel I have earned it.

[Serenity]

And things don’t need to be done perfectly!

“Recovery is about progression- not perfection.”

[KIP.]

I like the list idea, in the early days I did 3 things a day. That could be shower, put bin out, open mail. And I built on things from there. Doing nothing is also important and I could lose days just sitting having that out of body experience. Now I know I think I needed that too. Perhaps that’s our mind and body telling us it’s too much to handle just now. Baby steps. Also my concentration is still damaged. I can’t finish the first page of a book. I lose the thread so I need to go back and force myself to concentrate and take in each sentence. My mind just won’t stay still for too long. Years ago I was an avid reader. Even with audio books my mind wanders x

[Author]

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