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Had a weak moment after (number removed by Moderator) weeks no contact I fell for the hoovering and manipulation and got sucked in again to the promises and lovebombing. Had a drink with him (timeframe removed by Moderator) which resulted in verbal abuse, shouting in my face to kill myself repeatedly, calling me a s**t, a s**g, started shouting out women he’s “shagged” to hurt me, was calling me psychotic because I was crying, calling me lazy because I’m a stay at home mum, I’m a s**t cook, I’m s**t at sex, s**t at everything else. Since that I’ve had the same old “things have changed now, let me show you” I feel so stupid for going back and annoyed at myself. I wish I never went back. We don’t have kids together and don’t live together so it’s easy for me to cut ties yet feels like the hardest thing in the world. I hate him for what he’s done to me
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first things first, don’t feel stupid. It took me a few years in order to leave my abusive relationship, and only then it happened because he broke up with me, which made me realise who he really was! And even after he bruised me whilst breaking up with me, I still saw him afterwards. You’re not stupid at all. People can make cutting ties sound easy peasy, but no one ever finds it easy. I found that for me it was the presence of him that put my mind to rest- if he was with me he wasn’t with other girls. But that’s not how you should be living the rest of your life. If he’s able to shout such nasty things at you, he isn’t giving you the basic human respect you deserve. If you haven’t already, block him on everything. I know this is a huge step but you will thank yourself later. It will help to remove that temptation. I also found having a notes page on my phone with ‘reasons why I shouldn’t message him’ can also help- it can help remember all the bad feelings he causes you and why you don’t want to feel like that again. You just need to give it time. The first few weeks/months are always gonna be the hardest but there is light at the end of the tunnel ❤️
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