Reminders of the past have come back waking each night

[Chocolatebunnie]

I have a friend on social media who is friends with my abusive ex boyfriend from over (timeframe removed by Moderator) years or more.

ive blocked my ex on social media but this other friend is still in touch with him (a trigger in itself)

she has put pictures of them both on social media and I thought I wasn’t bothered but I’ve had nightmares about him, not going into detail, but since of him chasing me and nobody believes me. It’s truly horrible and I wake and can’t sleep.

he was classic abuser physically, emotionally, sexually and was to begin with a friend who once we were involved became very nasty I had police and solicitor involved but never proceeded as my frienddhip with certain people at the time made it seem wrong and his behaviour was normalised or I was blamed for getting involved with him as he was a unsavoury character who I thought as we had a good friendship I could help.

my husband thinks I probably like being treated the way or gets insecure he doesn’t understand and he’s as bad in his own way at times,

feeling very unsettled and raw, feeling confused about my own marriage too just so emotionally mixed up.

i was told I has PTSD but then told not I never seem to find any help (I present as coping and string, I try to be but I’m struggling)

im sure someone will understand me in here have a good day CB X

[Lisa]

Hi CB,

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. No one in your life is really hearing or understanding how much the abuse has impacted you. I’m glad that you’ve reached out here and just because other survivors haven’t been able to reply yet, it doesn’t mean that you’re on your own. You are understood, you are heard, you are believed.

As it’s impacting your sleep and your mental health, it might be worth speaking with your GP. The fact that you appear to be coping shouldn’t be an excuse for you not getting the support you deserve, services should know that people put on a front to get by. You might find the resources on Bloom helpful at this time too. They’re aimed at helping survivors recover from trauma.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Chocolatebunnie]

Thank you Lisa, I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone. My experience in doing so leaves me feeling extremely vulnerable and I find the hurt overwhelming or unbearable to cope with. I have tried.

 

mostly I find I feel I am making a fuss, not believed or that it’s too much for others to handle or simply just not interested.

will look at bloom,

 

CB X

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