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Any advice welcome. I have reported my ex husband for the rape and sexual abuse from (detail removed by moderator) years ago. I finally understand what happened it was wrong. Anyone else reported rape from past and did it go anywhere or am i wasting my time. I have to do this in hope to protect my daughter too
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Hi Surviving,
I’ve reported sexual assaults and assault by penetration that my ex committed. This was some time ago and I don’t even know if they’ve spoken with my ex yet. Since I also reported many common assaults, some bordering on ABH (still to be determined), I don’t even know if they deal with it as a whole or if they’ve just decided to only go for the most recent assault and are waiting to see the outcome for that one. I am not sure. I really should follow up on it, but I don’t know who I am more frigthened of some days. The police or him.
Sorry, got sidetracked. I wouldn’t expect anything quickly being done about it, but unless you are frightened like me, I would try and arrange a weekly or bi-weekly update from the OIC to keep you informed. I will say I don’t think it is ever a waste of time to report it, even if it does not go anywhere, you have shown such bravery and courage in coming forward and telling them what type of evil this man truly is. In doing so, you have done what you could to try and protect others. Be proud of yourself for this, please.
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Yep well done. Rape crisis were a great help. They have a helpline if you should need to speak to someone. It may be down to your word against his but at least he is on their radar for sexual assault which may help if other women have reported him too. My experience was he simply made no comment which is often what these men do. There simply wasn’t enough evidence but there lies the problem. They’re not going to sexually assault us in public. With witnesses but my conscience is clear. He’s not my problem anymore x
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this sounds like a daft question but did you also let the police know hes looking for unsupervised contact and lots of it? i called 101 when i thought my ex was going to force contact – like you she really didnt want to go she was terrified. they were really keen to support me and also wanted me to get him on historical crimes. i made sure he new this threw one of the letters that went out and he backed right off.
the main fact here is men who sexually abuse their wifes/gfs tend to also abuse their children, sometimes there own but more often step kids xx thats something to consider – also more likely to be physically/ emotionally and verbally abusive x*x much love diy mum
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I reported my ex for the same. It took a long time for me to fully understand what was going on. I often thought, oh I think he raped me. We had massive rows about his behaviour but I never spoke to anyone about it. I guess I was embarrassed and ashamed and didn’t know what to think or do. I also blamed myself. Rape Crisis has been brilliant and so has Victim Support and of course Women’s Aid.
Having been raped before by someone different I was always thinking, oh well he’s not doing this and he’s not doing that. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing. Yuck. It was horrible.
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i am wondering can rape be proven through written evidence from a professional? as in if your given a diagnosis of PTSD say – can the therapist write down the reasons/specifically say due to sexual assault/abuse? is this proof? the thing i needed to prove was emotional abuse really and this was the only way i found to do that xxxx love diymum x
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Don’t think i told the police yet that he wants full custody of our daughter. I don’t even think it will make a difference if I did. It all comes down to evidence. He has said in writing about knowing what no means but can have some insight as to how i would have been feeling bit he isn’t admitting anything. (Detail removed by moderator).
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i know official people can be scarey/daunting even and when weve lost faith we think god theyre just not going to listen. the truth is if he gets his way you stand to loose alot – so fight – demand that your heard – did the gp feel it was a safety concern and did they write a letter stating this if so? xxxx much love diymum
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im going off at a tangent again but it might be worth mentioning to the judge that there is an official review going through parliament right now. theyre going to stop unsupervised contact with people convicted of dv – id imagine if hes being investigated shouldnt contact proceedings be put on hold for now? do you represent yourself? or do you have a solicitor xx
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They will have to investigate and speak to him. It might be that it boils down to your word against his. Just tell the police everything. I had prepared a statement first that I wrote and gave the officers. It gave them an idea of the sort of things that had been going on. Just in case you freeze on the day and it might be worth asking for female officers x
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Yes it is a female officer. She seemed really nice over the phone and I have some stuff from cafcass report that could help me like he said he knew the meaning of No but could shed a light on how I could have been feeling. Also he didn’t see it wrong to get undressed in a cubicle with a (detail removed by moderator) teenage girl and share a bed with her. Whennthey report says they are concerned about his way.
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