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    • #52846
      A.N.Onymous
      Participant

      Hello all,
      I am in the middle of dealing with hoovering and the possibility of my ex coming back to the UK. My ex left the country a (detail removed by moderator) and Im getting constant calls and messages about him moving back. I don’t think he will, but I am not sure. I want to cut off contact but I feel it will provoke him to actually fly over (money is not a problem for him) so I just turn my messages to mute and have minimal replies. The harassment is pretty harrowing though. I was thinking of reporting him to the police today but I am just not sure I can deal with all the questions they will go through and whether they will even believe me. Im also not sure how reporting affects him or if they notify him because that could also provoke him to come back. I don’t have any evidence of anything, excepting a couple of scars that have long since healed. Any advice on what I should do?

    • #52847
      KIP.
      Participant

      Contact your local women’s aid or ring the helpline. Keep all evidence like texts etc. If you could text him not to contact you under any circumstances. Then if contact continues its harassment or stalking and the police will take it seriously. Don’t reply as the police then look at it differently. Like an argument. At that point I think you should involve the domestic abuse police. You can ring 101 in confidence for advice. Even if it’s for your own peace of mind or to protect other women. You can ask the police using ‘Claire’s law’ if he has come to their attention before for domestic abuse or violence. These men are often serial abusers. You can give a statement so that if he does this to another woman or has done it already then you can corroborate the abuse. My biggest worry was that I wouldn’t be believed. That’s the abusers brain washing. Not one professional ever doubted me. They deal with this kind of thing on a daily basis and have heard it all before. Just make sure it’s domestic abuse police you speak to x you do not have to live in fear. You have a right to feel safe x

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