Respect

[Serenity]

It’s lovely being away from them, because you are able to show yourself the respect for which they never showed you.

You are able to show yourself respect by eating properly, resting when you feel tired, having adequate sleep, building yourself an enjoyable and constructive daily routine, treating yourself once in a while, creating boundaries and choosing who to sacrifice your time for and who to allow overcome he threshold of your front door, by using your talents and qualities to get ahead in life and enjoy positive interactions with people and to earn your own money where you can build an enjoyable life, where you aren’tdrorndebt upon an abuser for your very existence and where you are not made to feel guilty for enjoying life.

This is in complete contrast to how it was when I was with him. He deliberately disturbed my sleep patterns, invited people into my home who- I now realise- he knew would upset me, though he feigned ignorance. He made my feel guilty and punished me for doing anything enjoyable or relaxing. He tried to sabotage my career, and invaded my concentration at work with incessant phone calls. I began eating rubbish because I spent all my energy cooking for him.

If I have a day off, I can choose to snuggle under the duvet for an hour at 2pm if I please. I don’t need to have my whole day geared towards cooking him lovely meals ( which he would criticise anyway). I am slowly coming to realise that I am allowed to relax and deserve rest. He hasn’t got a hidden camera, peering down on me 24/7. He really has gone from my house. I can eat chocolate for breakfast, and porridge for dinner. He’s not there to punish or control.

I’ve just been for a coffee with a friend and we were sat planning her career, as she has been offered some free training. She’s feeling really ambitious. Like mine, her ex made her think she could never achieve.

It’s great being free!

Ladies, I was traumatically bonded. There is light at the end of the tunnel. X

[Anonymous]

Hi Serenity, What a lovely post, I am glad that you got out. I had a brief spell of freedom and it was lovely so I do know how you feel. xx

[KIP.]

I love that word ‘respect’. Listen to Aretha Franklin, Respect, for a mood boost.

[Suntree]

Respect.

Such a small word but can mean so much. We are taught to respect others as we would ourselves, we forget that it is ourselves which needs the most respect from us and then we can put that to others.

Abusers destroy that sense of us and teach us that what we have is what we deserve and that we need to fix ourselves and be nicer to others (mainly them and their needs and wants) in order for us to be treated with respect.

But they are forever making sure that we can never achieve that goal.

So glad that you are where you are now and coffee with your friend sounds wonderful 🙂

[abcxyz]

what you wrote rings so true xx

[Nova]

brilliant…agreed r.e.s.p.e.c.t ! a small word that speaks volumes
especially at christmas time (I know & any time is important!)
…its such a special time…just lovin the Peace Vibe…
gonna light some candles, chill alone, pour a glass of fizz and raise a toast

to us brave Strong Sister Survivors around the world : )
sending you hugs
Cx

[Author]

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