Rose tinted glasses

[Chocolatebunnie]

So angry with myself.

I can see it, kids see it and I know it’s going to go full cycle, I know it!

But the rose tinted glasses are back on and he’s lovely. He couldn’t be nicer right now.

Even started thinking if I work on myself be stronger, stop him before he starts, keep on learning what’s healthy what’s not I can stop this. I know I can’t and I know out of the blue it will hit me and the real him will be back, I know it. Why am I sucked back in so easily.

Kids were discussing things he’s doing and I just couldn’t cope with it, I didn’t want yo hear it all over again. I did and then it hit home again. And that’s why I’m angry. I built myself up to deal with this cut ties and now I feel like I’m in a trance under a spell.

I know it’s part of the cycle so why do I feel like I love him and can’t let him go.

[Bananaboat]

Don’t be angry, a lot of it is out of your conscious control.

The highs and lows release chemicals which our brains/bodies become addicted to.

Cognitive dissonance plays a big part and living in survival mode is exhausting so we doubly enjoy the good ones.

This world is not easy. Do you want to be living & feeling like this in 12 months time? 5 years time? If the answer is no you can focus on planning a new life and pushing forward that? It’s tough, I feel you. Remember you only get one life and your kids get one childhood xx

[nbumblebee]

This is me. Every time the cycle moves to the nice part im where you are. Hey this isnt so bad this life is ok gosh im just silly, got carried away with labels and over reacted then bang off he goes again and i hate muself and i hurt myself. I wonder why on earth im still here my counsellor tells me all the time that i should leave but she understands why i dont. So we work on me. Ive started slowly to live my life. I now work i go college i volunteer and once i even went out without him. He hates all this trust me i have to fight i have to ignore the names the comments the spiteful things he does and its hard every day i cry every single day but i get up and i go to work etc. I have to fight because nobody else is gonna fight for me. Ive stopped thinking about leaving i cant think about that anymore its too much so I take each day as it comes baby steps foward keeping my eyes open coming here when i need a word of support or encouragment or a well done i share on here not with him as he doeant care i see that now.
You are not alone you are not stupid you are hurt confused and sad that is what you are and you can heal but its not easy nor is it quick.
Baby steps sweetie baby steps xx

[Camel]

Breaking the cycle is always one step forward, two steps back. It’s good that you know when you’ve gone backwards. A little bit of anger is good, I think, if it spurs you forward. Just don’t dwell on it. Tomorrow is another day.

[searchingforhope]

It’s so easy to cling to a bit of hope with the rose tinted glasses, as wouldn’t that be easier than ploughing on with change. The thought of change is terrifying, at times paralysing, but as was said above, do you want this to be your life in 6months, 12 months, 5 / 10 years? I think that has helped me get to this stage, even though I feel I’ve stalled right now. You are the only one who can fight this fight for you. Nobody else can do this for us and it’s truly rotten. But if we try keep taking the baby steps, it will have to be better at the other side, it has to be. There must be more than this.
Listen to the kids, keep getting support here and wherever you have it. We must do our best to do this together. To show our kids that they don’t have to live in a way that makes them unhappy either.

Sending you hugs and love xx

[Author]

Posts