sadness, loss, & loneliness…

[Hazydayz]

I miss my little loyal friend so much since she left🐾 a couple of weeks ago. Time seems to have slowed down since? So much more time to think… I do try to keep my mind occupied, count my blessings…123… things to be grateful for. Come here… To help? Post, seeking feedback maybe? for a moment of company, as much as anything I guess? as I’m lonely too. And feel so alone at times. I know I’m not alone with that! But, I’m trying not to have time alone to think… remember…so much loss in my life. My empty life. Forgive me for whinging, others here who hurt too! For While, I know here, all around, are fighting like me for their freedom… for a free life, me too! Some recovering! Or near recovered? The recovered, as much as is possible? That keep watch like… Angels of mercy💗 we all appreciate I’m sure. But, still…I hurt, I can’t forget… the people I’ve lost and the love💗 The list is so long… brother, sister, brothers, mother, grandsons, daughter’s, grandaughters, newborn grandchild and soon to arrive…grandson, I will likely, never know, be able to love and feel loved by. Once more, not forgetting, My little loyal furry friend💗 My one remaining daughter I cherish in my life, but we can’t see that much sadly. My last remaining longtime friend popped up again recently, knows the situation now and has been a love💗 but, she has her own life and I can’t expect her company when I need some. Just another… bad day feeling I guess? Thankyou to those who tried to help,so many times 💐 & Thinking of those of you having bad days too. Take care of you 💞 Hazydayz x

[Eve1]

Sorry to hear how you’re feeling, hazydays. I can relate. I’m having a bit of a down day today myself, in energy levels definitely as I did too much yesterday, I think. That makes me go inwards and I dwell on the downsides of recovering from an abusive marriage. I lost my Mum a few years ago and that was a great loss to me. As we get older, there are definitely fewer people to count on, aren’t there?

It can be lonely removing yourself from abusive situations.

Sorry I’m not sounding more positive but just wanted you to know you’re not alone today. Are you considering another furry companion or is that not an option for you?

Sending you a hug

Eve
x

[Hazydayz]

Hello Eve1. Thankyou. I’m sorry your feeling low too. Yes, fewer people around these days. I agree, losing your mum is gonna be difficult, I know that too. My mum was a sudden death and unexpected, it’s a shock I have never got over. I appreciate your sharing with me today and don’t worry about sounding positive. You are very thoughtful responding to me and that means a lot. My little dog was so special I couldn’t ever think of replacing her, so I’m feeling the loss right now. But today, felt so much worse. Hope tomorrow is a better day for both of us. Hazydayz x 💞

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi Hazydayz

I’m so sorry for your loss, this can’t be easy.
I agree, perhaps a new little cute warm ball of love would comfort you? When you’re ready of course, after your grieving period.

Also another thought I had to combat loneliness, especially with autumn/winter coming along, people are staying indoors a little more, perhaps a good idea would be to join groups, take part of a weekly hobby?
I’ve taken part of a few over the years, knitting, swimming for example and the ladies are always very kind and social and we end up having coffee after the class. Even going out to restaurants. Volunteering somewhere is the same, very social and you meet countless new people.

Think about what you would like to do? Anything you’d ever wished to learn doing? Could be a cooking class, painting, visiting museums together and discussing art, book club?…the possibilities are endless.

Be very kind to yourself 💕

[Hazydayz]

Thankyou HopeLifeJoy for your reply your kind words. Yes, it’s difficult at the moment, I am trying to fill my days with crafting progects, I have done so much knitting lately and I have lots of hobbies, playing my guitar, piano, and learning to paint. I’m learning languages, Mandarin Chinese amongst them is taking a lot of practice but right now I just feel so without company. I’ve been giving thought to…what do I like? I do love swimming and as you mentioned was part of a swimming club myself, swimming everyday, before lockdown, but of course that’s finished now due to covid! pools are closed. Not opening anytime soon I’m sure. I guess I miss my family and little dog so much, and that can’t be covered by any other interests so I guess that’s the seat of my problem. I couldn’t think about replacing my little dog for another fur ball either. My chronic pain condition isnt helping my mood either sadly, as it’s a stress related nerve pain that is triggered a lot during day and night annoyingly! But, Happily, my friend did pop up out of the blue tonight so I’ve had a good chat and feel much happier. Thanks again though for your support. It’s lovely of you to take the time to suggest so many good ideas. I am a people person, and so miss the company of others, I guess that’s another problem for me to try sort another day . Hope your doing ok? 💞

[Beautifulday]

Hi @Hazydayz I’m so sorry for your loss and sending you a big hug, I too have days where I feel terribly down and lonely, I find you lovely lot on here a great comfort when I’m having those bad days. I hope you feel better soon xxxx

[Hazydayz]

Thankyou Beautifulday for replying to me. I’m feeling a bit better now since I’ve had a friend for company tonight and now it’s time for bed. Another day behind me! Mind you a bad night could lie ahead of me? Hope not! Hope your having some good days more than bad! Take care, big hug to you too x 💞

[Wiseafter]

Hi Hazy, I am always amazed by how much strength you have. Despite all the loss you listed, you are doing so well. Being only a couple of weeks since losing your lovely little doggy, I think you are allowed to grieve and feel down – not surprising given the amount of things that have happened. I am so glad you post on here when you feel that way because I do too. I honestly don’t know what I would do without the lovely ladies on this forum, my virtual friends who just ‘get it’ without asking a million questions, or treating my life like an episode of a soap opera! Sometimes just the effort of speaking to people who don’t share my experiences or who have no frame of reference for them puts me off contacting them. I’m sure it will get better with time but I completely get how war veterans can only share their experience with other veterans! Being a survivor of abuse carries the same weight of loneliness and isolation from the vast majority of people’s lives. Anyway, enough late night ramblings, just wishing you a better tomorrow and a good night. x

[Hazydayz]

Oh…Wiseafter, bless you💕 and thankyou💐 for your kindness your supprtive reply and your understanding. I’m here, hearing you and feeling for you. Sadly, your right, it’s draining isn’t it and exhausting trying to convey what’s inside, our feelings, our trauma! Our brokenness! To those who have no understanding or ability to get it! Those without experience, The lucky ones! It’s the synics that are the worst to deal with though, don’t you find? Infuriating! They are! Anyway, We always know we can find understanding here don’t we. Even if some of our circumstances differ greatly, there’s still a thread of similarity, compassion! that runs through us all, because of abuse. We understand that here don’t we, for sure. Our lives maybe different in lots of other ways, but, all we can do is deal with it! Best we can! Meet each new day with hope! and in my case, I think I just scrape through somehow? it feels as through… by my openess I am releasing a little of the pressure of what’s inside me? Making space and finding room for other stuff that comes along?…if that makes any sense? I guess I have accepted my lot? although, I wish it weren’t so. Like so many of us might. So… I will be here, seeing, what I do and doing what I do, and I know you and others will be too! Me…I’ll try and keep myself and others afloat best I can? That’s what I do! Have always done throughout my life… little mother! I was nicknamed as a young child, helping my mum, running about to fetch the baby a nappy, sooth with finding the dummies and rocking the pram! Eldest sibbling duty? I guess! But, it didn’t do me any harm, made me a carer! Though that maybe? Was overstretched by some! But, a lover not a hater I would rather be! So if any of that has helped? To understand who I am? How I cope? And if it helps just one person? That’s a blessing as far as I’m concerned. I do try, in as many different ways as I am able to. I like a bit of fun sometimes when I can, exercising my imagination in a way that inspires, and using language to transport feeling…My little red car! It surprises me it’s in me and gives me a boost on days like that. I’ve rambled on a bit here, I’m sorry! I poured a lot out! Now I just have to say what I didn’t before, 🌄 Good Morning to you! to all of you here, it’s a lovely sunshine day! I feel brighter now it’s peeping in my window saying hello. I just hope your feeling stronger too! Lots of love, Hazydayz x 💗💕💞

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