Scared just when I was about to leave him

[Badunkadu]

Hi there!
I was adviced to leave my partner and go to refuge and I already left some things in a friends house (things he wouldn’t notice) so I could take the rest the day I leave, and then I was speaking with some friends and they told me why I don’t get to an agreement with him and what if he takes my kid from me? He has so much more money that he will get an amazing legal team for court so just when I was decided to leave to a refuge I am totally terrified thinking about that option.
I saw a barrister in a very good legal firm and she shows examples of cases she won, most of them in favour of the abusive husband (including sexual abuse and big stuff) and made it even worse.
I’m terrified, what can I do? Social services are already involved so I can’t stay with him (not that I want to either but at least I wouldn’t feel terrified of the idea of losing my baby)
What can I do?

[Lisa]

Hi Badunkadu,

I’m really sorry to hear about everything you’re going through; I can tell from your post just how conflicted you’re feeling.

It’s understandable why you’d be feeling so anxious making this decision; and there’s not necessarily a ‘right answer’; only you can decide what the best thing is for you and your children. The positive thing about refuges is that they are that immediate place of safety and the locations are kept confidential.

Before deciding anything you may want to speak to a local domestic abuse service. They may have access to some legal advice so you could talk through the child contact options in slightly more detail. Local services should also be able to help you access refuge if you decide you want this, and they may also be able to give you some advocacy/ support with social services (if you need this). You can find details of your local domestic abuse service here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

You could also access some free legal advice from Rights of Women: https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/

Remember you can also speak to the National Domestic Violence Helpline 24/7 on 0808 2000 24 7.

Whatever you decide to do next please keep reaching out for support and posting on here to let us know how you are,

Lisa,
Forum Moderator

[Author]

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