Scarred by the fall out from leaving abusive relationship

[Peach]

I was in an abusive relationship and left a number of years ago. The fall out from leaving was possibly more traumatic than the relationship itself- the anger, the family courts, all the trying to make everything as difficult as possible for me and my children, his family all turning against me etc..  my family and friends were not overly supportive that I was leaving and I found the family court to be extremely dismissive of the abuse. I’ve never really fully recovered from it all and continue to have contact because of parenting. One thing I find difficult is total indecision/not trusting myself to make the right choice about anything. It is paralysing. I also find myself years later in a very unhappy marriage and I just can’t leave because I am traumatised by the fall out of leaving the abusive relationship and cannot face it all again. Anyone else have similar experience?

[Lisa]

Hi Peach,

Thank you for sharing with us about what you have been through, it sounds very distressing and understandably you feel traumatised. I hope it has helped to post on the forum to others who understand and may be able to relate to your experiences.

If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (open every day). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here.

Keep posting when you can, we are here to support you.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[StrongLife]

I too felt traumatised by leaving, courts, stalked, harassment afterwards. It’s the leaving and then the after math of leaving.  It too was scary and I still get concerned about him continuing on.

I agree with assessment of Family Court and DV.

[Eyeswideopen]

Like many here, I also experienced the worst when trying to get out, that’s when the physical abuse I never thought he’d be capable of escalated, and I started to fear for my life. I was lucky I managed to maneuver courts and did all directly on my own, mainly as he was afraid of exposing things to others. But it did make me more weary of making decisions, whereas before I was always super brave and confident in them…

I hope you’ll find the courage to leave yet another abuser..  you went through it all and made it the other side once, you know you deserve better… they are very aware of the fear they put on us to keep us in the relationship 🙁

[Author]

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