School

[Kitkat44]

Feel like I’m drowning, I can’t get three of my children in to school.
School telling me they have to be there, husband they same and my children can’t face it. I’m feeling full of stress about what school will say and what my husband will say when/if they don’t go.
I’m stuck in anxiety. Freeze. Can’t think straight.
Not sure where to turn x

[Gerbil]

Hi KitKat44
Are school aware of the abuse in the family? If now would you be happy to share that information with the designated safeguarding lead? That person should then be able to put in individual support for your children to get them back into school? All schools can now refer to Futures in Mind which could offer additional support. Are you children primary or secondary age? Are they sharing with you why they don’t want to go to school? Sorry for asking so many questions I am just trying to work out the best way of helping them and you. X

[Kitkat44]

Hello
Thank you for your reply.
Yes school are aware of DA. They referred us to safe guarding as all 3 are now going to be fast tracked for attendance which means looking at being fined.
They are all secondary age. Cannot specify why they hate school so much. I feel like they were just about coping with our chaotic home life until lockdown then loved being at home then struggling to return to school, with online learning, isolating back to school and all the new rules and two started puberty during all this.
Thank you, I can’t believe my life is such a mess xx

[Gerbil]

Just remember that you are doing your best for your kids and trying to support them through this difficult time. Covid has been a difficult time for teenagers without DA but into the mix.
Are their heads of year supportive? I wonder if you could ask to see them and have a meeting. They could do some pupil voice work to try to find out why they don’t want to go to school. School can also put in a part time timetable which may help ease them back into school. To start off with, they could just go into school for one or two lessons a day and build back up to full time.
With regards to the fine, you could ask to speak with the safeguarding governor and ask for special circumstances.
Have you thought about CAMHS for them? Or is there a school counselor?
Take care.
There is no feeling like worrying about your kids x

[nbumblebee]

Could the school maybe sort out a more gentle timetable where they go back half a day for now? Slow and steady is surely better than not going at all? Worth a try on asking them sweetie.
As for you my goodness you are doing an amazing job in such difficult circumstances you have got to stop blaming yourself. Are you tbe abusive one? NO do you hurt your husband and kids? NO this is not your fault not your fault at all.
You are fighting hard as hard as anyone ever could and you are doing an amazing job you need to keep telling yourself that. You can do no more than you already are apart from being kinder to yourself. Take care xxxxxxx

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