Searching for the right help…

[Twisted Sister]

Hi women of the forum

I can’t find help for my situation. I can’t go back into refuge, and I obviously can’t post detail on here.

Rights of Women are uncontactable. Samaritans, whilst happy to listen, are not what I’m after, as I need help, not someone to chat my sads through with, I can manage them myself and they can’t help in any other way.

The DA helpline is continually unavailable.

The local WA were very harmful to me, and didn’t recognise or respond appropriately to the level of distress or his abuses.

I have to flee, but nowhere to go. Basically, I’m screwed.

I am sorry to add to any load on here, I know everyone is struggling with their own challenges, and I really hope that some of my experiences can go towards helping others move forward practically and emotionally.

TS

[Pinkvelvet]

Twisted Sister, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through right now. Are you able to contact the police and express your distress and concern? Can you flee to a family member, friend or colleague? Can you confide in someone you know?

Could you potentially rent an Airbnb for a few days whilst you get your thoughts together on next steps?

Sorry if none of these suggestions are helpful. I haven’t been in this particular situation myself but I hope you can find the right support.

You’re incredibly brave for doing this and to fight for your right to a happy life. It shouldn’t be a fight though, but you are strong and I hope you find the strength to keep going. There will be light at the end of the tunnel even if you can’t see it just yet x

[Twisted Sister]

thank you for your reply pinkvelvet. Brave? no, I’ve been told very clearly I’m neither strong nor brave, from the specialists, I am weak. Although I have kept battling on, but its been for too long now, and I know it sounds defeatist but some tunnels just go downwards, there isn’t a light for everyone at the end of the tunnel.

I know from being on here and my own experiences how hard this fight can be and much of it is because women cannot reach help, and it isn’t because they don’t keep trying, I know how hard it is and always has been to get through, but its become impossible.

Thank you for hearing me, and offering kind words of wisdom. My situation is very poor, it just goes down and down. I have now been a refugee for years, and many harms during that time.

I think I’ve been quite creative in the ways in which I have tried to access help, looked very long and hard.

ts

[Bananaboat]

I was also going to say can you contact the police as it sounds, from the limited info that it’s an urgent issue? Re housing, have you contacted your local council or another council’s homeless team? Might take a few months but they could house you in a b&b maybe short term? What about a refuge in a different area?

[Twisted Sister]

So nice to come on here and see that I have responses, to, what is after all a very vague plea for help because I can’t discuss the details, but it is so helpful to have the conversation about how much /readily available help is for us.

The Police are not approachable, any communications with them are truly over for me, and councils are a hard fight that is beyond me. Yes, I have even considered refuge again, but it was a very harmful experience the refuge we went to, and I’d rather be street sleeping now than face that again. Thats not to say there aren’t brilliant refuges out there, I’m sure there are, and again, numbers are limited, and its all about physical risk. I also had the best support ever, whilst in there, so I’m not saying refuges are bad or anything, they are all different and offer different environments and rules.

thank you so much for replying and your suggestions. x ts

[Hereforhelp]

I have no words of wisdom to help you TS, I truly wish I did but I find this process is incredibly hard with so many obstacles. My local CAB was helpful in that they were/are running a local DA programme but I am unsure if this is local to me or nationally. I met a really helpful woman in a cafe they use to help woman who experienced or still are experiencing DA.

No matter what so called specialists have said, you are very strong as you are still fighting, You have helped me a lot on this forum when I was lost and didn’t know the way forward at that time ❤

[Twisted Sister]

Really touched by your words Hereforhelp, but a bit weepy at the moment anyway. Did you mean that a woman from CAB is running a service to help women in /out of DA? Thats useful, I will try to look that up.

I am so glad to have been of any use in your own struggles Hereforhelp x

ts

[Hereforhelp]

I emailed my local CAB explaining some of the abuse I had/am victim to. A woman rang me from the CAB explaining they can meet me in a specific cafe (the cafe is also part of this project, they took me out the back to a private seated area for DA victims). CAB local to me are working alongside my local council. It may be worth an email to your local CAB, I hope they are also doing this in ypur area and are helpful TS

Sending warm wishes to you ❤

[Twisted Sister]

I hadn’t heard of this, so thats good new information I can at least look into, thank you very much x

[Cedarlemon]

Hi TS
Just wanted to send you some virtual hugs ((())) , I haven’t got any good advice but you sent me a lovely kind message when I asked for help so wanted to know I am thinking of you x The CAB info sounds very good advice x

[Twisted Sister]

Thats worth so much thank you Cedarlemon

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