Self doubt – am I doing the right thing?

[Stuckinturmoil]

I have wanted to leave my marriage for about five years. I have seen two counsellors and a psychiatrist who specialises in (detail removed by Moderator). They all think I should leave him. I know they’re not meant to say that but one did. The psychiatrist has said he is an abuser.
I filed for divorce (detail removed by Moderator) months ago, but due to my (detail removed by Moderator) being poorly, everything must put on hold. I told him if he hadn’t made any effort by (detail removed by Moderator) to get help or talk to me I would have to continue the divorce and I would put the house up for sale. I’ve got an estate agent coming round in (detail removed by Moderator) weeks to take pictures. I am completely panicked as I am doing the wrong thing. I keep thinking of family (detail removed by Moderator) trips, which he just scream and yell at me, but at least all the family I will never be able to take them (detail removed by Moderator) on my own. he got nasty (detail removed by Moderator), sending me nasty messages about how he doesn’t want to give me any money in the divorce and how I don’t deserve anything. I just don’t know what to do. There’s no doubt he has abusive behaviour. He screams and yells and I’m always walking on eggshells, but is that better than nothing?

[Lisa]

Hi Stuckinturmoil,

It’s normal to have these doubts. Your situation now is familiar and the future post-divorce feels unknown, which can be scary. You might not be able to take the family on the same trips but you can create new memories with them, free from screaming and yelling and feeling on edge.

Leaving is hard. It’s okay to do things in your own time. The nasty messages he’s sent sound like threats meant to scare you into stopping the divorce, he’s making this as difficult as he can for you. You might find it helpful to contact your local domestic abuse service for some ongoing specialist support.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

Posts